Stay the fuck out of the Jeep! Seriously?!? This is the third time you have waltzed your ass up in that vehicle like you fucking own the shit! And by the way, you fucking dumbass, there are four zippers you can unzip to get inside the Jeep…you need NOT tear a hole in the mother fucking window! That is going to cost $300.00 to replace you asshole! And for what?!? What did you take? NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF NASTY COCA-COLA SOAKED STICKY PENNIES!
And you made me late for work.
Speaking of work…get a JOB! Do you know how hard I work just to have simple pleasures like drinking a beer with my people or to go and eat sushi on occasion? Probably not…because you have no concept of what it actually means to value something.
And take a bath douche bag! Dude, you totally left dirt all up in that Jeep…I mean, it is a Jeep and all, but still, I didn’t ask for YOUR dirt to be in there. The doors will be unlocked from now on, and there will STILL be nothing in there for you to steal. You got all the pennies dude, and I am sure as fuck not replacing those for you.
Just wait, I am gonna go all Goonies on your ass and fucking booby trap the hell out of that Jeep…
Considering you broke into the next door neighbor’s car too, I am sure they have a very strongly worded letter for you as well, so I will let you get back to your pathetic excuse for a life now.
