Being distracted is not my normal forte, but these last few days I have had everything on my mind. Nothing serious (of course) but, well, for instance, I was sitting in the bathroom two days ago and I thought, "Oh I wonder how they make toilet paper" Lo and behold, yesterday on "How It's Made" they showed how they make toilet paper! Oh the excitement! (It is made from our recycled paper…so next time you throw a piece of paper away, it might, just might be taking care of your butt in the future, how sweet.)
Then I was reading Maxim, (which is such a great magazine, by the way) also while on the potty, and they said that the caffeine in about 72 espressos is enough to make your heart explode! Unfortunately, caffeine is a diuretic, so you would pee/poop it out before you could get that much through your system. Pretty much it is impossible to kill yourself by drinking coffee.
Shit, my coffee is cold again. Bleh!
So we have this Secret Santa thing going on at our office. All the secretaries are involved and we have some of the funniest gifts going around at the moment.
My SS gave me some coffee. Hummm, go figure.
Anyway, the first of many hilarious gifts was a pooping reindeer. What is it with me and pooping and peeing?! So juvenile! SO FUNNY!
Here is what the poopy deer looks like – that "shit" is hilarious!
Then there was a poopy penguin! Muhahaha!
Now there are marshmallow burger and fries. Probably the most disgusting of them all. No doubt it tastes like ass…but how funny is THAT!
I still want an Answer Me Jesus.
Let's to go to fun words I have learned in the past few days:
Phenylalanine – found on the side of Magan's (whom I work with) Diet Coke. It is an amino acid and pregnant people shouldn't ingest it.
Defenestrate – throwing someone or something out a window. If I was a movie maker I would HAVE to use this in my movie. "I shall defenestrate you now!"
Do you guys watch Kid Nation? There is a girl on there named Taylor and I want to beat her so bad. Spoiled lil brat. She lives somewhere in Georgia. If I ever see that kid I feel as if I will have no restraint of my foot barging up her ass. I get the same feeling of needing to kill a kid when I watch Nanny 911.
In other news: they came out with a London Ink! What what! Like Miami Ink and L.A. Ink…but London. An hour of British people speaking and doing tattoos! I think I have found heaven my friends! I have been known to actually kiss random people because they have an accent. Purrrrrr!
My pants smell like my cat Boo Boo may have farted on them. Think that means I should stop leaving my "clean" clothes on the floor. There is something about that extra step of putting them into the closet or my armoire. (I had to look that word up in Google; I typed in "French dresser armwa"…it worked! Damn that Google is a smart lil SOB!)
Ok, I am going to do my filing now.
Love ya, mean it!
