Up and Coming...

This weekend promises to be full of great entertainment and fun!

Tonight there is a free concert in Forsyth Park...the following peeps will be playing:

Ingram Hill

Reel Big Fish.

Dirty Dozen Brass Band

Michael Franti & Spearhead

Do I know these people?! NO! Do I care/want/need to? Hell to the naw! Haven't we discussed this before?!? LIVE MUSIC = ALWAYS AWESOME!

Saturday is going to be beach day. Michelle and her friend are coming into town. We do have a tiny complication with beach day...my tent is non-functioning. If all else fails I can rent a umbrella OR just sit under the pier. OR dig a really big hole in the sand, cover myself and use a snorkel to breathe.

This up and coming Tuesday I am having some touch up work done on some of my tattoos! YAY! It will ALMOST be like getting another one! I am thinking it will just piss me off enough that I will actually get my ass in gear and start saving for the really, real next tattoo I will be getting.

As usual, hope you have a wonderful weekend! Have a beer near and keep it between the ditches! Peace out! 10-4 good buddy!

Another Round of Myth Busting!

1. Hostess Twinkies have and indefinite shelf life.

Twinkies have a shelf life of twenty-five days, not seven years, and certainly not fifty years. Even so, twenty-five days is an unusually long time for a baked product to stay fresh. The secret to Twinkies' longevity is their lack of dairy ingredients: because dairy products are not part of the formula, Twinkies spoil much more slowly than other bakery items. (Source)

2. Multiplying your dog's age by seven will produce its equivalent in human years.

Come to think of it, I have never thought twice about whether this would be an accurate thing or not. Turns out, it isn't. Here is why:

Since knowledge and experience take time and effort to acquire, we've developed simple shortcuts to help us answer these questions, such as the well-known formula for "dog years": multiply your dog's age by seven, and you'll have his equivalent age in human terms. Although this formula might work roughly well for the middle years of a dog's life, it's too simplistic to accurately reflect a dog's developmental status closer to either end of its lifespan. Using this calculation, for example, an 18-month-old dog would be at a developmental stage similar to a 10-year-old child's, but while many 18-month-old dogs are fully grown and capable of reproducing, few 10-year-old children are. The "dog years" measurement tells us that a 15-year-old dog is supposed to be the equivalent of a 105-year-old person, but (factoring out accidents and other unnatural causes of death) a much larger proportion of dogs lives to age 15 than humans live to age 105.

For those who would like a rough idea of how the ages of our canine and feline friends compare to ours (strictly for entertainment purposes), we present the following charts courtesy of ANTECH. (Smaller dog breeds tend to live longer on average than larger breeds, so no single chart can adequately represent all dogs.) (Source)

3. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and nobody knows why. 

Why wouldn't a duck's quack echo? What could there possibly be about the sound a duck makes that would uniquely exempt it from physical laws that apply to all other such sounds, e.g., a dog's bark, a cat's meow, or a lamb's bleat? The answer is: nothing. (Source)

4. Are red cars more expensive to insure? 

The color of your car does not influence your auto insurance cost at all.

n fact, most car insurance companies don’t even ask for your car’s color.

Instead, insurance companies determine rates by looking at other risk factors like your driving history, previous claims record, where you live, and the model and age of your car. (Source)

5. Red cars are ticketed for speeding more often than vehicles of other colors.

In an attempt to prove or disprove the belief, in 1990 a reporter for the St. Petersburg Times conducted his own smallish survey of which color of cars were getting the most speeding tickets in his area. He first staked out four intersections in the two counties he was studying and made a tally by color of vehicle of the 1,198 cars that went through them. He then leafed through the most recent 924 speeding citations issued in those two counties to arrive at a count of how many had been issued to each color of car. Last, he compared the two results to see if the resultant percentages closely approximated one another or were badly out of sync.

His findings challenged the belief about red cars being dunned with proportionally more of the speeding tickets. Red cars accounted for 14 percent of the local vehicle population and about 16 percent of the citations for speeding, which is not a significant difference. (Source)

6. Eating sugar makes kids hyperactive.

While parents may be convinced that sugary drinks, sweets and chocolate make their children hyperactive at least 12 studies have shown that there is no evidence to support this belief. Yet parents are so convinced about this myth that when they think their children have been given a drink containing sugar (when it is actually sugar-free) they rate their children's behavior as more hyperactive. In fact, the difference in behavior is all in the parents' mind. (Source)

Collective Soul...You Know You Wanna!

OK ya lil shits, listen up…it is time for me to talk about something serious for once. 

HA! Gotcha! Not really, but it is time for me to plug my most favorite band of all time for some selfish reasons. I want some free shit, holmes!

SO, my Collective Soul obsession began waaaayyyy back in 1994. I was a mere (not mare) 12 years old when I heard Shine for the first time. Being only 12 and with no reliable source of income, I had to beg the p‘rents to buy me CD’s. My first Collective Soul CD was the self titled album, you know, the pretty blue one.

I begged and borrowed Collective Soul CD’s until I was able to go out and make my collection complete. Of course now I have EVERY. SINGLE. ALBUM. EVER.

I have also seen them in concert six times. I have two favorites. 

The first favorite place was in Hilton Head, South Carolina at a small club called Monkey Business. It has since changed names, but I digress. The show in Hilton Head was up close and personal. The guys walked right through the crowd to get on the stage. At the time, I was fortunate enough to have known the DJ, so I was able to watch the entire show from the DJ booth. Ah-maze-ing.

My second favorite show was in Macon, Georgia. At the time of the concert I lived approximately 4.2 minutes from the venue. I was ecstatic to see them in my hometown!!

Other venues I have witnessed the glory of Collective Soul:

Music Midtown – Atlanta, Georgia (miss the Music Midtown SO MUCH)

Cullowhee Arts Festival - Cullowee, North Carolina

FunFest – Kingsport, Tennessee

Booth Amphiteatre – Cary, North Carolina

All of this is to say that at some point in your lifetime, preferably tomorrow, either go see yourself a Collective Soul concert or grab a CD (or 5). Take a listen and try not to freak out when you inadvertently start playing air guitar. It is a common side effect.

Collective Soul’s new album drops this Summer!! JUST YOU WAIT!!

And to even take the obsession a step further, I am getting a variation of this Collective Soul piece…

...which will cover my entire back…it is in the works as you read.

AND I would also like to give a shout out to my fellow Collective Souldiers at this AWESOME fan site. I would like to point out that I was one of the first members. (Thanks Mick for contacting me!!)

For more information on this kick ass band check them out on Twitter (don’t act like you don’t Twitter, you KNOW you are following Demi)

For CS’s blog.

And for all tour dates (coming to a town near YOU!) check ‘em out here.

WWYLL? (What Would You Look Like?)

I totally almost had a break down laughing when Larkin sent me the below. You can search my blog for the MULTIPLE posts I have done on Kate's hair if you so wish. (Source)

The Inspiration:

I think Angelina and Halle look the best with Kate hair...

Still LMAO!

Random Tuesday: Memorial Day Weekend Review! OH and One Other Thing...

In typical Memorial Day fashion, we participated in numerous cookouts. The first being at Michelle and Ronnie's house.

I also go to see my furry, four legged boyfriend, Pullo. I was whispering sweet nothings in his ear

We played a few ruthless games of Spades and once the beer had taken a good hold of us, we progressed into playing Asshole

We also had a pretty kick ass bonfire...due to the massive amounts of rain we have been having it took approximately one gallon of gas, a thing of lighter fluid and some old underwear to get this thing going

(**Edit for Michelle**) This is a picture of Bobby after he exhaustingly beat the fuck out of the fire...with the wrong end of a fire poking utensil. He was out there for a hot minute...it was hilarious!

Speaking of underwear...this lovely pair of boxers came from Italy. It captures the best part of the statue of Michael. No, really, that is totally Michael's junk.

This is a direct result of too much wine...

As a result of the President's rule in the game of Asshole, there were moments when one had to wear the penis boxers on their head...I was assured they were clean.

That was on Sunday...Monday we decided to have a cookout at our place! Ronnie and Michelle brought Pullo over to chase our cats and to once again stun us with his handsomeness

Both cookouts were a nice and relaxing time...so wish I had one more day just to lay in bed...

In the spirit of awesome dogs, I do have something to share...

Remember my post about the fox and all the fun, cool animals I saw at Bobby's friend's house?

Bobby's friend's name is Jordon and she and her husband foster various animals...one of which is a Great Dane named Vader. Vader has Wobbler’s Syndrome and in order to fix this issue, needs a surgery that cost quite a few thousand dollars!

When I met Vader a couple of weeks ago he was the sweetest thing EVER! So handsome with his all black coat and stunning personality!

Fleet Feet Sports, here in Savannah, is putting together a 5K in order to raise money for Vader's surgery.

You can read all about Vader on his website.

If you would like to donate or know someone that can help, that would be AWESOME! As soon as he has his surgery he will be ready to adopt out to a wonderful family!!!

Happy Hunting!!!

So the Bobz, Andy (the Bobz cousin) and myself were having a discussion on hunting last night. Albeit a drunken one! Hell, it is when most of our best discussions happen!

It turns out we disagree on hunting.

Bobz says that we shouldn’t hunt for sport; people shouldn’t ENJOY going out and killing animals.

I say who cares if they ENJOY it, as long as they eat the animal they shoot, then all is good and right with the world.

Bobz says that we shouldn't HAVE to hunt in this day in age; we have grocery stores for that.

I say why pay someone to kill, process, package and transport meat that one could go and kill, package, transport and store MUCH, MUCH cheaper. It cost approximately 80 cents per pound to process meat that YOU hunted (deer or otherwise) as opposed to $3.50-$5.00 per pound of meat in the grocery store. And how do we know that the person that killed and processed that meat didn’t ENJOY it?

Bobz asks if I would kill my own food; the answer is a resounding NO. I would cry. I love live animals too much. I like my meat very dead by the time it gets to me.

I say animals (deer and alligators in these parts) need to be hunted to keep the populations down.

Bobz says we are the ones that have moved into their land and they shouldn’t have to be killed just so we can live.

I say that unlike humans, an animal such as a deer can breed as young as 6 months old and carries its baby for only 6 months. The reason this is the case is because of the circle of life - it is prey for many, many predators, including humans. Deer is one of the common and small amounts of animal that can feed a human sufficiently for multiple meals AND for multiple people, and should be noted for its fairly easy processing; an alligator, not so much, besides, the only good meat is in its tail anyway.

One thing that I didn’t point out last night, in my inebriated state, was something that I know Bobby holds very close to his heart: the effects of our carbon footprint! I totally could have won this debate last night! Why didn’t I think of it then!??

SO, the carbon footprint of non-local meat that is raised and processed is HUGE. You have the massive cattle farms, the people that work these farms to pay, the travel of the meat and all that goes with that to keep the meat as fresh as possible…

If you kill your own food (or for people like me and Bobby who can’t kill our own food, purchase your meat (and/or produce) locally from local farmers) the carbon footprint is SIGNIFICANTLY decreased!

Anywho, according to this site less than 7% of the country hunts anyway.

Whew. Ok, give me your thoughts out there my meat eating lovers! And you non-meat eaters too! What does thou opine?

Just Few Things...

First of all, something happened to all of my awards. They all just dissapeared for no damn good reason. Weird. Don't worry, I was thrifty and saved them all. Somewhere.

That now leads me to Kat, who gave me this award:

"These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."

Fuckin-a! That's what's up! Wait. What the fuck is an aggrandizement? :::looking it up on Merriam-Webster::: Oh, ok. Cool. Yes, well, thank you very much for that! I will continue to try and be as non-aggrandizing as possible!! Love ya! Mean it!

SO, yesterday evening, Larkin went and got her some body art. I don't know when she will post about it...but you gotta check it out! So after we left the tattoo shop, we decided to go downtown. That kept me out till about 1:00am, then we got home and of course another beer was in order, so I ended up staying up till about 2:00am. At the stroke of 2:00am I decided it was indeed time to go to bed...work was going to be a bitch enough and now I was only going to get 6 hours of sleep.

So I leave Bobby's room and head to my bathroom. I never turn on the light this late at night because it just plain hurts my eyes. As I was getting rid of some beer, I noticed that Syber kitty was very interested in something on the ceiling of the bathroom. In the darkness, I very vaguely made out the shadow of THIS:

MOTHERFUCKINSHITFUCKGODDAMMITHOLYMOTHEROFSPIDERS!

Back when Krystal and I lived a little farther downtown, we had problems with these spiders, but since we had moved a little more inland, I had hoped the problem would never come up again. Alas. By the way, I had incorrectly labeled them as wolf spiders, they are actually Huntsman spiders. I prefer to call them Getthefuckoutofmyhousenow spiders.

So I had the broom, Bobby had the beer mug. I knocked him off the ceiling, the spider jumped and tried to eat us and then Bobby trapped him under the mug. We then went in search of some paper to slide under the mug, that is when I discovered there IS a use for junk mail. Then we took him three houses down and released him in THOSE people's yard. I don't even know THOSE people, but I do know that I didn't want that spider anywhere close to me. Ohhhhh, gives me the heebie jeebies!

NEWS!

I just received the following e-mail from my father:

Jacob just called and said he was informed he has completed his required courses and will graduate. Guess that keeps you guys from having to send flowers for his funeral. - Dad

Me to Dad: Whew, that is great news! I was torn between the day lilies and the gardenias.

Dad to Me: And I was torn between dragging him behind the car or just running over him. I will let him celebrate all the way until Saturday when I will have the "so what are you going to do now" speech.  My guess is he will be wearing an AF or Coast Guard uniform soon.

LMAO!

SO! That is great news! The youngest is going to graduate, FINALLY! Especially after his genius idea to drop out of school earlier this year, which can be read about here and the latest Jacob drama here.

Naturally, in my family's true fashion, I was not informed that he would be graduating tomorrow until about TEN MINUTES AGO...which does not allow me 1) enough time to ask off work (I would have to leave at 2:00 tomorrow to make it there in time) and 2) to save up money for gas

So the boy will have to graduate with out his sister or brother present. Brother Joe is underway somewhere down close to South America.

Still, a big HOORAYYYYYYY for Jake FINALLY doing it!!! Congrats little bro! Now go get a job!

It's All About the Shoes!

Deb got me all inspired to write a shoe post...she was having issues buying shoes, so if you are so inclined, go help "a sista out".

Last year...at least I think it was last year...maybe the year before that, I bought these shoes up in New Hampshire:

They are made by a company called Vibram and the type of shoe is called Five Fingers.

I totally flipped a scrip when I saw them...they were the coolest shoes ever! They are also crazy, crazy comfortable. They are made to give you the freedom of walking barefoot, without the pain on the bottom of your feet. They are PERFECT for the beach and bumming around town. I have gotten some strange looks wearing them, but anyone who has the guts to say anything always wants to know where they can get theirs!

The only places that sell them in Georgia are in the Atlanta area, but you can head on over to their website to see if they are sold in your area: 

Vibram Five Fingers

Hold On, Kate! HOLD ON!

Back in the day, I did a post on Kate Gosselin's hair. This was like in early 2008. I am still "suffering" for it. I say "suffering" because when I go and look at my site meter, it makes me a little sad. I have had 44,392 visitors (WOW!), except a majority of them are looking for shit on Kate Gosselin. ESPECIALLY these days. My average Kate Gosselin hit was numbered anywhere between 50 - 150 hits a day. The Kate Gosselin meter is OVER 430 hits as of yesterday!

And having typed Kate Gosselin four time in that last paragraph will NO DOUBT get me even more hits. This is not what I want. Yes, of course I am getting Dooce numbers up in this bitch, but how much fun would it be if people actually came to read ME?!? FUN is what.

SO this past weekend I saw some madly awesome, cute animals. Since Bobby works in a pet store, and as a manager there, he gets to meet really cool people with really cool animals!

Bayah, Bobby's hairless rat, needed a female friend, so we went to one of Bobby's customer's house to pick up said rat. The animals she had. Oh. Emmm. Gee.

Case in point:

This is a Fennec Fox. My knees almost buckled at the sight of him. I was so overcome with the need to kiss his little face, it almost put me over the cuteness edge. HEAVEN.

Bengal kittens AND cats!! The kittens were just at that age where they meow at everything, but it comes out as "mew". Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The snuggles were off the chain. If only I had $700.00 - $1,200.00 for a cat. Not really...unless I saved like three from the shelter...THEN I would allow myself to have a designer cat. Maybe.

Oh yes! A harlequin Great Dane PUPPY!! Found out that they grow 5lbs a WEEK!

AND A Weimaraner PUPPY!!

I really could have stayed there all day! They also had two Chiwawa's that were ADORABLE and a pretty fish tank! It was a mini-farm just like ours, except with much cooler animals!

TAGGED!

I was tagged by MAW to do this here thingy:

What are your current obsessions?

I watch Cops all. the. time. There is no reason behind it. WAIT, no, there is. It is a show that I can totally zone out for a moment on, come right back to, and get right back into the action. Plus, the dumbassery. WOW. (I also like Worlds Scariest Police Videos)

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?

Besides my pajamas, I would say my holey jeans and any t-shirt.

What’s for dinner?

If it was up to me, we would have Mexican food every night of the week. If we don’t have Mexican food I say spaghetti.

What is your greatest fear at the moment?

Having a panic attack in the middle of something important. i.e. someones wedding

What are you listening to?

Nothing at the moment.

What are your favorite holiday spots?

Ohhhh, Seattle is one of my favorites. I am pretty keen on Boston and Las Vegas too!

What are you reading right now?

I am still trying to get through Marley and Me. The shame is that I started it months ago!!

What is your guilty pleasure?

Sno cones. Ohhh I love those things!

Who or what makes you laugh?

Ellen Degeneres has made me laugh until I cried. Her stand up is crazy funny!

What is your favorite Spring thing to do?

Start going to the beach! If ever a time you can’t find me at my house, 9 out of 10 times you can find me on the sand!

Where are you planning to travel next?

New Orleans! Working on our August trip! (Hi Momma Dawg!)

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?

The last burrito and enchilada I had at Carlito's was off the chain!

When was the last time you were tipsy?

Last night!

What is your favorite ever film?

The Princess Bride (MAW! You have good taste!) I actually watched it just this weekend. I can quote the ENTIRE movie.

What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned from your kids?

I don’t have any kids and I count that as a lesson in and of itself. I don’t know too many people my age who didn’t have kids REALLY early.

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?

There has never been a book I SHOULD read but REFUSE to, but many I have TRIED to read, but just couldn’t get into it.

What is your physical abnormity/abnormal physical ability?

I would say my knee. It has been surgerized so many times it has a nasty indention/dent thing in it. From what I understand it is where they had to take some muscle out or something. It just looks weird, but I enjoy freaking people out with it. I can hold a quarter in it!

***Edited for Miss Sassy herself...she challenged, I take challenge: (Gawd my knee looks hideous...I swear I wasn't born that way! The two knobs on the bottom of my knee are the two screws that are attempting to escape. So far I have avoided another surgery, but the day is imminent)

And my pinky finger on my right hand. 

I split the knuckle in half when I was a kid and my parents thought I had just jammed my finger. It was already healed by the time they took me to the doctor. I use it to make them feel guilty.

What is your favorite color?

Blue

Can the people outside your car hear the music playing inside your car?

Hells to the yeah! Except I am kind and I turn it down when I am stopped at a red light or something. I have had way too many times when I was trying to listen to my music, but the guy behind me or in front of me was boom’in away so loud that I couldn’t even hear my music. If I wanted to hear your music, I would be in your car. But I do have me some good boom boom in my trunk.

My addition: In a perfect world, how many hours sleep would you get per night?

12. I LOVE to sleep! I slept pretty much the entire weekend. Saturday I slept till 12:00pm, got up, started watching TV, took at nap from 4:00pm to 6:00pm and then went back to bed at 12:00am and slept till 10:30am the next morning. Ohhh it was lovely. AND I didn’t even go out this weekend!!

I pass this on to Larkin, Mitzy, and Tina!

Another Day, Another Gray

This is a camera phone picture, but it picks up the massive amount of gray hair I have accumulated in the last two years. I first started turning gray in my early 20's, but in the last two years it has really taken over with force.

THANKFULLY it is good gray hair (not squirly or kinky or rough)...the kind I wouldn't mind if my whole head was taken over.

I would like to thank my my Mother's father and my Mother for going gray this early. Thanks guys.

Happpppy FRIDAY!

Do any of you watch Grey's Anatomy?

If you do, can I just share an "OH. MY. GAH!" with you?! How the hell are you going to end a season like THAT?!? What am I supposed to think for the rest of the Summer?! It is some form of torture I tell you.

While Bobby was in the hospital he asked all the nurses if they watched Grey's Anatomy...all said no, one in particular said she like House, but that she didn't watch Grey's because it reminded her too much of what it was like there! REALLY? That much drama?!? After I found that out I started eavesdropping at the nurses station...I have no shame when it comes down to finding out who is dating who in the hospital scene.

All is well in the house of Jess. The Bobz kept down some turkey enchiladas last night. He is on four antibiotics though, so he has decided not to start drinking again until those are done. HOWEVER, I did try and tell him that is a myth...drinking alcohol does NOT lessen the effect of the medication.

No really! It is true! If you don't believe me, check here. And even one from the Mayo Clinic!

Ohhhh, this is fun! Let's talk about other myths:

1. If you shave your hair, it returns thicker and faster. The Bobz just recently said that he didn't want to wax the five hairs he has on his chest because he didn't want them to grow back thicker and/or more of them. The hair that we touch, see and style isn't alive. Living hair lies under the skin and scalp, so cutting it won't change the texture or speed that it grows. Besides, to say that it grows back thicker and faster and more of it is just crazy speak! We don't grow more hair follicles when we shave, cut or wax our hair.

2. The only visible man-made structure from space is the Great Wall of China. Ironically, the Great Wall isn't very easy to spot from a close orbit of 180 miles -- it's large enough, but its colors don't distinguish it from its natural surroundings. Furthermore, astronaut descriptions and photographs have shown that airports and highways can be seen from orbit as well.

3. Humans only use 10% their brains. In the 1800s, scientists debated the overall function of the brain. Out of these debates, William James later wrote about humans only using a small percentage of their brains and the 10% myth was born. Although simple tasks require specific brain areas, anything complicated requires far more than 10% of the brain; magnetic imaging has documented this and scientists are basically in agreement about brain functions. Unfortunately, many psychics still use the 10% myth to promote the idea that they are using more brain power than others.

4. Because of the Earth’s rotation, in the south of the equator, water drains the “wrong way round”. The Earth’s rotation isn’t strong enough to affect which way the water drains. A sink’s design may affect it though. Believe me, I looked when I was in Japan.

Well, that is all I have time for today. If you have anymore to add, feel free!