Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Sure Do Love TV

You know how I am addicted to TLC, Discovery Health and The History Channel right?

Well, last night I came across some interesting shows…one of which was Freebirthing. Now if you have freebirthed or have opinions about it, feel free to share, but I promise I am going to stick to what I feel about this and that feeling is give me drugs and give me a hospital.

My Mom called me in the middle of me watching this show and the convo went:

Me: Hello?

Mom: Hey! What are you doing?

Me: Watching Freebirthing on TV.

Mom: WHAT?

Me: Yeah, people that give birth at home with no midwife, medication, medical treatment...

Mom: Are those people crazy?! Why would they do that?

Me: I am so with you on this Ma…

Mom: Did I ever tell you…

Me: Yes, you did Mom. You had us all naturally.

Mom: Yes, but not by choice. You know they just didn’t have drugs when you were born, Right? And then when I was supposed to get my epidural for your brother some guy came in that had been shot and OF COURSE the anesthesiologist had to go and give him some medicine. So rude. Didn’t they know I was having a baby?!?

Me: Yep, I remember. I was there ya know.

Mom: Well, those people are crazy…but I have a story for you…

[Commence 15 minute conversation reminiscing about my crazy childhood antics]

I had a kidney stone once. I cannot articulate how painful that was. I was fairly convinced that I was going to die from the pain. As I understand it, kidney stones are not so unlike natural childbirth. This is how I am quite certain that I will require all the medication possible when that time comes.

When we are unable to all be in the same room/house watching shows like American Idol I am usually texting (or sexting as we like to call it) with Larkin about said shows. Last night after no less than 60 text (sext) about the idiots on American Idol I instructed Larkin to turn her TV to the channel Freebirthing was on. We continued to discuss how abnormal we thought this was which then progressed into Larkin telling me she saw something on TV about a woman having an orgasm while giving birth. WTF.

If you care to watch, you can find it here.

There is something very strange about your being birthed child having the capability of giving you an orgasm. I understand (and it is explained in the video) that this pain is all happening in the same canal that pleasure can also derive, but ummm, all I can say is AWKWARD.
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