What the Hell?!

**UPDATE FOR YOU NOSEY ASS PEEPS...hehe, just kidding, just an update**

So I went in to the doc today...the shortness of breath, heart beating fast and all that jazz was from some wicked awful stealth like allergies sneaking into my lungs. I have no watery eyes, no sneezing...you know, the stuff that says ALLERGIES. So anyway, got a fancy inhaler for that.

The lump in my throat seems to be something to do with my thyroid, so they took some blood from me today and they are doing a scan tomorrow. We shall see. In any case, if they can just take away this feeling of gigantic Mexican food chip stuck in my throat - things would be all right in the world of Jess.

So for like a week now I have felt like something is stuck in my throat. Like when peanut butter or a piece of bread gets stuck. It is UBER irritating. This morning I woke up and it doesn't seem to be as bad, however, I don't feel like I am getting enough oxygen in my lungs and my chest is kinda tight.

I am thinking the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor would be the one to go to for all of these needs, as the not enough air thing seems to be a direct result of my throat feeling like it is smaller than usual. This is all just weird and I don't know what the hell is going on.

I am afraid I am going to spend a bunch of money going to the ENT for him/her to tell me that I have a gigantic snot ball lodged in the back of my throat and if I just wait it out, it will be fine. OR they are going to tell me my esophagus has detached and my throat is going to falling off.

HOWEVER, I have noticed that I get indigestion after I eat EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I NEVER have indigestion. Except when I drink alot of sour mix in a martini...then that is hell, but I got indigestion last night after eating a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Who the hell gets indigestion after eating THAT? Maybe salsa...but peanut butter and honey?!

Retardiculous.

In between me writing the above and now I spoke with bossman Joe, who's Mom and Dad are Doctors and I am going to see his Mom at 1:30 today.

Let's go through the symptoms:

Lump in throat feelings
Throat tightness
Chest tightness
Indegestion
Feeling of not getting enough oxygen

The only change I have had is getting that Implanon put in. That thing better not be trying to kill me.