CRAVINGS!

I am craving Mexican, sushi, oysters (steamed), BBQ and boiled peanuts. And I swear I could eat it all in the same sitting.

I went to sleep last night trying to figure out the best driving route to obtain all of these things and it appears that I am, indeed, going to have to eat most of these items at different times and locations.

I can get the Mexican and sushi at the same time because my favorite Mexican food place is right next door to a sushi restaurant.

I can get the BBQ and boiled peanuts in the same trip as the BBQ place is just down the road from the guy with boiled peanuts.

The oysters...that is going to be the one that is going to have to wait a tick. The best place to get oysters is going to be The Crab Shack and that is down on Tybee Island. And you can't JUST have oysters there, you have to get the platter. The platter means war. The way you have to attack it is a very strategic operation. After you are finished you need a shower and I am totally serious about that; you are DRIPPING in drawn butter and crab leg juices.

I am starting with Mexican food for lunch today. We will see how the rest of the weekend goes! See ya on the flip side...10lbs heavier!

That Time AGAIN?!?!

It appears to be the time of the year when sinus headaches arrive. Let it be known that I NEVER just GET a headache for no reason. It is usually self inflicted. BUT OH, during allergy season, the pain, the agony! I seriously cannot take that horrible pressure, like an angry leprechaun trying to escape through your eye socket and that bumpy bone that sits along side your nose.

Yes, right there on the right side of this guys face. Those cavities. Those are the ones that appear to have had evil leprechauns residing in them.

I had to take an additional hour this morning, therefore making me late to work. I went in and took some decongestant and did the lay slightly at an incline, tilted to the left (the side that didn't hurt) and wait. And sure enough, slight burning, then a little trickle and then POP! I thought my freakin eye had dislodged. Instant relief, followed by coughing from all the drainage, but praise Hey Zeus the pain was gone. Stupid snot blockages.

Thursday!! Oh, how grand!! The week started off slow then suddenly it is Thursday! I love when that happens. Considering going out tonight since the Bobz is off work tomorrow...I think we can get home at a decent time if we get down there at 9:00, sing some songs, drink some beer...yeah, I think we can make it home by 11:30. We shall see!

Vitamin C and Other Lies Ya Momma Told You

I am doing this post specifically for Bobby, who is a strange, to say the least, when it comes to colds, germs and sickness in general. I for sure don't WANT to get sick, but I don't go around sanitizing all the pens in the vicinity. My thoughts are that I haven't contracted EVERY sickness I have ever come in contact with, so it is OK to get some germs on you. As a matter of fact, I read that 25% of people that are infected with a cold don't even feel the side effects. I think I fall in that 25% MOST of the time.

So, Mr. Bobz was stressing out that he did not get his Vitamin C at the grocery store the other day. It is of his belief that Vitamin C will drastically reduce or even kill off potential illnesses.

You can read this article in Newsweek that addresses the famed myth.

I will put some short excerpts from the article:

"Oranges, grapefruits and other vitamin C-loaded foods have many health benefits. But study after study has shown that the vitamin does little—if anything—to cure, prevent or even shorten the duration of the common cold."

"So where did the vitamin C-cold connection start? It all stems from Linus Pauling, a Nobel Prize-winning chemist who lived from 1901 to 1994. In 1970 he wrote the book "Vitamin C and the Common Cold," which popularized the notion that this particular vitamin could prevent one of the most common ailments on earth. But the book came with little scientific backing and was largely devoid of evidence, says Pauling biographer Thomas Hager. "He published this very influential health book without writing a single scientific paper on the subject," he says. "He seemed to be prescribing a major change in dietary habits without much evidence." Nonetheless, the book's message stuck."

However, as the good professor says at the bottom of the article, "You've got to choose your battles in public health. Having an extra glass of orange juice may do some good, and it certainly isn't going to do a lot of harm."

So there you have it. You will still get sick, but hell, at least you will be the most Vitamin C filled sick person out there!

When You Are Most Likely to Get Sick (Source)

"The cold season in the United States typically begins in late August and early September at a time when temperatures are still moderate and central heating is not being used. September is the time of a major common cold epidemic despite people not being exposed to the drying effects of central heating."

This kinda goes back to the whole myths of "going outside, in the cold, with your hair wet will cause you to get a cold."

You get sick from germs, people, not the elements.

HOWEVER, the cold virus LIVES in the elements. Some cold viruses do better in cold weather, some do better in warmer weather, but we can for SURE count on the fact that central heating and air is OF THE DEVIL. I am going to Lysol mine as soon as I get home.

And lastly on this whole sick business, a question that was brought up during drinky time the other night:

Can You Catch the Same Cold Twice? (Source)

YES! Once again, our parents lied straight to our FACES on this! "The reason is that the cold virus mutates over time, so what you may be contracting from your family is a mutated strain of the same cold virus."

All of this was to say that I was feeling a little under the weather yesterday. Slight headache, a little nausea and an overall BLAH feeling. (Not a hangover, though the same symptoms do apply at times.) Poo on the cold season. POO. ON. YOU. Where is my orange juice?

RTT - Do You Have To Let It Linger?

I am really starting to feel the wear and tear today. Then again, I have been drinking since Wednesday of last week. I can do one of two thing: 1) not drink or a more probable 2) drink, but for the love of tiny baby children, go to bed before 1:00am.

I have a very, very, very small ache in my head. One that isn't even worth being called a headache. One that should just move on, it lingering is starting to piss me off.

Little Stryker Hawk (new kitten) has finally figured out what getting pet is all about. He is all UP in the business in the morning time. He is so freakin adorable you can't help but just rub his wee lil head. The power of cute made me late for work this morning.

I forgot to tell you, but remember when I wrote this about my brother Jacob? Yes, well they broke up. THANKFULLY. Completely crushed him. He didn't eat for a week. Mom said it broke his heart something terrible. Sad. I remember and it does hurt. ANYWHO, now he is trying to move out on his own. Wanna take a gander at how much money he makes in a week?

$240.00

Does he have a car? No.

Does he have health insurance? No.

Does he make enough money to pay rent, car insurance, utilities, gas...NO.

Has he signed a lease and put down money on an apartment? YES.

Honestly, you guys, he is brilliant...but he is obviously in the retarded stage of brilliant right now.

OH! Speaking of brothers! My OTHER brother, the Coast Guard one, got engaged! To someone NOT named Jessica! To someone I LIKE! He bought her a two carat blue diamond engagement ring. I don't know the cut, but blue diamonds are sooooo pretty!!

Rundown of my new (and first) sister-in-law:

Name is Ana.

She is 22.

She is Latino.

She is pierced.

She is tattooed.

She likes beer.

She loves animals.

She is a bartender at the moment.

She is going to school and majoring in business management.

She apparently loves my brother.

Welp, I think we are gonna get along great. Let the family joining COMMENCE!

Weekend Over, Week Begin

The weekend was quite restful! Not saying we didn't have us a few brewskies and all, but we did it all from home! I got to add another book to my LibraryThing (bottom of this page to the right) P.S. Your Cat Is Dead. Pretty dark comedy, little off the cuff, but overall entertaining book. That was Saturday's read.

We also rented a few movies:

1. The Proposal. I about busted a gut laughing at this one! Pretty well written movie with a continuous flow of comedy! Rent it!

2. Year One. Dumb comedy, but pretty funny. I enjoyed the parallels with the Bible i.e. Cain and Able, Sodom and Gomorrah. Modern History of the World kinda movie. Typical Jack Black comedic style, so rent it if you enjoy his comedy.

3. Monsters v. Aliens. I wanted more from this movie, but it had some pretty funny parts. Not NEAR as good as Toy Story or Monsters, Inc. though. Debatable rental.

4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I REALLY enjoyed this movie. I have never read the comics, and the people that do have told me that it didn't follow the story correctly, but to them I say POO cause I was totally into the movie from the beginning. Great action, great story line, easy to keep up with and really cool mutants with nifty powers! RENT IT!

And lastly, a movie so forgettable that I had to stop this post, walk home for lunch and go through the movie stack to remember what we watched...

5. Land of the Lost. Yeah. No. DON'T RENT.

In addition to the weekend, the Bobz parents stopped by Saturday night for a short visit.

We also had a 19 year old puking in the bathroom for the better part of four hours.

"I don't puke." says he.

"You can't drink wine like water" says I.

"Give it a 20 minute rest", I say again a little later.

30 minutes later was the tell-tell swagger step to the bathroom. In his defense, he had a HORRIBLE day which, in the end, has left him homeless, at no fault of his own. (Slumlords were busted for inhabitable conditions in the place he rented)

Speaking of homeless. I was sitting in the Bobz room smoking a cig (he has a door in his room, which we prop open for smoking time) and a homeless man comes through our gate, up on our porch and makes his way to a wooden locker that contained some items that the previous tenant had left. It was such a shock that this would happen in broad daylight, with our door OPEN WIDE that all I could say was "HEY! Get the fuck off our porch!"

The man was obviously out of his mind, figuratively and physically, as all I got was a dazed look and a slow walk back down the steps and out the gate. His movement was so slow that it prompted me to yell out "Bobby!!! Get the gun!!!", which of course throughly confused Bobby since we actually don't OWN a gun, however, it was convincing enough for the homeless guy to skedaddle at a faster rate and yell, "No! Don't get a gun!!"

Turns out he had already stolen most of the items in the locker, which were a few old, dusty, moth eaten coats and shirts. He was coming back to get the rest of the grab. CREEPY!! Goes right back to my point that people will take ANYTHING. The saddest part is that there is a homeless mission one block away and another homeless clothing mission a block in the other direction. There is ALSO a Salvation Army about 4 blocks away. Get the HELL OFF MY PORCH!!!

Night Out With Kat!

I've been through worse hangovers...

Well, that is what I keep telling myself anyway! However, it was TOTALLY worth it! Kat came to visit us!!!

Michelle (Mitzy), Kat and Larkin

Oh yeah, bitches! Tore up from the floor up! That is how Savannah was last night!

At one point in time there were four cameras going at once, so I know there are some HILARIOUS pictures to peep from all the other cameras. My ability to take pictures ceased around 11:00, but my ability to sing Fergalicious was right on.

I had my hair pulled back and a white bra on under a black shirt. Made for some odd pictures of me, but everyone else looks great!!! Hey, at least I was wearing a bra.

I first met Kat when she came to pick me up at work at 5:00 yesterday. I knew I loved her from the beginning because she didn't make me walk home from work. AMAZING! Secondly, she loves her Miller Lite as well. GODESS! Thirdly, Bobby and Kat have amazing musical identicalness. As Kat said, "Bobby is my brother in musical heaven"

SO, we left the house around 8:00 because SOME people (LARKIN and PAUL) were running behind. We FINALLY found a parking place, which said parking place may or may not have been illegal, and walked over to The Bar Bar where my girl, Christine, works. She made us all a round of shots and served us up with some righteous beer.

This is Bobby and Kat taking a normal picture

This is Bobby and Kat after they decided they didn't like their chins in the previous picture. Tards.

Kat, Larkin and Me at The Bar Bar

After The Bar Bar we made our way down to River Street to enjoy the view and to show Kat the "echo circle". Hopefully she enjoyed that, but I am sure she will post about it later, so you can hear from her.

After River Street, we made our way back up and went to Bay Street Blues. This is the place where you can write on the wall and where some of you have your name...Kat found her spot on the wall and we also made some new ones...she has those pictures, so again, bug her to post.

After writing up the walls we finally made our way to Blaine's! You know the place...lots of gay men, $10 all you can drink beer and karaoke. Yes, I talk about it alot.

I know the question is burning...did Kat sing?!? No, the twat waffle wuss gutter slut of a whore did not. That's right, I said it.

We tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to take self portrait group pictures. Arms can only reach out so long, ya know, so most of our shots looked like this:

It was GREAT to finally meet one of my blog peeps...I am totally looking forward to doing this again soon! MAW has mentioned that they might stop by in April and I am still waiting on Mama Dawg...she has had some silly excuses like "I have a job" and "I got a kid, ya wench!" And to that, I can say nothing, but I can say that we had a freakin BLAST...just like I knew we would!!! Thanks Kat for taking the time to come and visit!!!

(Ignore Krystal's hand and the retardedness of that gesture.)

Wordless Wednesday - HINT: Got Hair Trimmed Up

RTT : Hi!

Have I ever told you guys that my Mother is a licensed private pilot? She even has her instrument rating and shizzy, which means she can fly all at night and land a plane in complete darkness. She is cool like that.

I still want to get my pilots license, but it is just too darn expensive these days!!

So, it is 59 degrees right now, which equates to feeling like 45 degrees with the humidity and all; it will get up to 71 degrees today. Tonight it will fall back to 51 degrees and THEN, get this, THEN it will be 79 degrees Wednesday! SEVENTY-NINE! Our HIGH on Sunday was 50!!! And I wonder why my nostrils are bleeding and my throat is scratchy.

I am going from air conditioning, to opening windows, to closing windows (I determined that 60 degrees in the house is a bit too cold; especially when you pet one of the cats and their fur is freezing) cranking up the heat, right back to turning on the air conditioning tomorrow. However, I still love the South!

Guess who is coming to visit me? Kat. Yep. Thursday. Gonna freakin rock it out in Savannah! Jealous much?

I am getting my hair trimmed up tomorrow morning. I am thinking a medium bob:

I can't believe my hair is getting that long! What is gonna be fun is shaving it back off again! I will probably let this hair grow for another year before I do it.

I think that completes RTT! Love ya! Mean it!

Not So Mundane Monday!

In order to relieve the receptionist during lunch most of the secretaries take shifts to cover the phones. This month it is my month to cover Mondays. This is being said because normally I do not have the horror pleasure of answering phones, but sometimes I am fortunate enough to get an interesting phone call during my hour of covering.

Part of the receptionist duties is to screen phone calls, which goes like this:

Answer the phone

Caller: "May I speak to [attorney]?"

Answerer of Phones: "May I ask who is calling?"

Got it? Pretty standard. OK good...so...one of the attorneys here at the firm has a friend from law school that calls every now and then and I have had the absolute shocking pleasure of getting this answer when I ask who is calling:

"Yes, please tell him this is his Enzyte representative calling and his test results are in"

And another time a few months ago:

"Yes, this is Glamor Shots, please let him know his photos are ready."

HILARIOUS! I about fell out of my seat both times! I love when something like that breaks up the monotony!

Addictions!

Since the birth of things addictive, like Pong and Tetris, people have spent HOURS with technology. I have found various addictions on the internet (not THAT addiction...perv...unless you got something good, then e-mail me. J/K. Don't.) some of them being games, like Word Twist on Facebook or blogging. Newest addiction: Yahoo Answers.

I answer the pissinshitfuck out of like 30 questions a day! Retardiculous! I love it! I spew my molehill of knowledge out (mostly in the computer and internet category) and try and save the world one question at a time! In case you were wondering, and naturally you were, I am a Level 2 and I have 982 points with 30 best answers chosen by vote or by the person that asked the question.

If you have a specialty they have a category for you to answer in!! I think you will like it! Go take a gander!

Yahoo Answers

Oh, and I came up with an AWESOME name for that bar me and my friends are going to open one day: "Monkey See, Monkey Brew"

FLIPPING GENIUS, AIN'T IT?!? Get it?!? Get it!!? Yes, genius. And I was completely sober when I came up with it. Crazy, right?

Please don't steal it.

Now go to Yahoo Answers and spread the madness!

Opa!!!

This work thing is crap! Totally cutting into my blog writing/reading time!

It is finally Fall...which means two things.

1) Savannah is going to have perfect weather until about February. Then it gets cold for two months. Then it gets perfect again for two months and then we fry in deathly heat and humidity for three months...but back to it being perfect weather. Ahhh, so nice outside! *NOTE* - On December 25th of last year, yes, Christmas, I was in shorts and a t-shirt sitting outside on my porch enjoying a Christmas brew. It was AWESOME! I love the South!

and finally

2) Savannah Greek Festival. I am in bliss! I had Greek for lunch today, I will be having it tomorrow for lunch and just might have it for dinner at some point this weekend too! You haven't had Greek food until you have it down at the Greek church (where the Greek Festival is held every year) made by a little ol Greek lady who can only say efxaristo (thank you) and make some mad awesome honey nut balls. (I said balls. And nut) I suppose we could call them by their real name, Loukoumades...

...but it makes me giggle to call them nut balls.

I ate the sampler plate which included a Greek salad (der), Moussaka, Dolma, Spanakopita and a roll, which I am not sure if it was Greek or not.

Step back son...it was the shit!!

Oh...and here is something that totally made me laugh today:

Shake Weight

I am sure by now you guys are aware of the Shake Weight, right?

We first saw it on Ellen. It is the new, very sexually suggestive new workout...anyway, Ellen had it on her show and got such a kick out of it that she gave it away to the audience. On Shakeweight.com, they suggest (they just love suggesting!) that it is Ellen's new FAVORITE way to work out...I wonder if she knows they said that??!

Anyway, what I wanted you to see was the video on "How to Shake It". I picked out AT LEAST 15 unintentional sexual suggestive things. Or perhaps it was intentional. I couldn't find one to embed, so you will just have to watch it straight from the site!

Remember to always keep it six inches from your face!!

Hi Monday!

Larkin has pictures of some pretty bad ass pirates...but no doubt she is asleep at the moment, so I am unable to post them. I will get them soon.

For now, we must have a Monday weird camera phone picture post.

Weekend Line Up!

Cheesy chicken convenient store burritos. Never cease to amaze me. SO GOOD.

Yes, I really like salsa. I do a little computer repair on the side and rarely have I ever taken money. Your first instinct is that I barter for beer, which is true, but I have recently obtained a client who makes his own salsa. I briefly contemplated putting together a virus that would run every 90 days so he would have to bring his computer back to me and I could get my salsa refill. Then I decided it would probably work just as well if I just ASKED for some salsa every 90 days. Whatever.

SO! Weekend line up!

Tonight I am heading down to Tybee Island to enjoy the beginning of Pirate Fest! It is a most excellent time of year when adults and kids alike all dress as pirates and "terrorize" the streets of Tybee Island! On Saturday The Marshall Tucker Band will be giving a most excellent performance! I LOVE The Marshall Tucker Band!

Also on Saturday, before attending the concert, I will be cheering on the Savannah Derby Devils, my girl , Mt. KillaJamma - 6'1, supporting breast cancer awareness and the demise of brest cancer. They are going to kick some ass and really, there is nothing more enteretaining than roller derby.

This is Mt. KillaJamma - 6'1, aka Stephanie.

She rocks. She CAN and WILL kick your ass. She really is 6'1".

OK, so that is the weekend line up so far! You never know what will fill in the gaps, but if I had to guess it will have something to do with laying in bed/watching TV/drinking beer and laughing. Or all the above.

The Moment I Have Been Waiting For...

As some of you may remember, or not, if you have an extreme case of envy, or perhaps you didn't read that day, either/or, I won a MAJOR award from MAW a few weeks ago.

I received it in the mail yesterday. Oh. Emmmmm. GEEEEEE! But first...a back story...

Since the death of Bobby's car a few months ago, I have been walking to work and letting him take my car, so it isn't uncommon for me to walk home for lunch and usually by the time I make it home for lunch the mail has run.

Yesterday was no exception!! I peeped the mail and noticed that my winnings had arriven!

Because I had alot of coffee yesterday morning, it was necessary for me to take my winnings to the pee portal with me. So there I was, getting rid of the morning brew and opening my mail, when I peeped this:

Thank bajezus that I was already on the pot because I would have peed myself! The detail! The amazing translation! It is beyond words!

Thanks MAW! I LOVE IT!! I can't wait to get it framed!!!

Andy Warhol Moments

My cell phone has moments where it takes funky pictures. After my first post of weird pictures it stopped for a while...which I thought was the end of my dreams for making millions on funky pictures. HOWEVER! Last night I went to take a picture of one of the cats and the funk is BACK!

A Hooker Made Me a Friendship Bracelet...

...and not just any hooker...MY hooker. Magan. We work together. She is a looser and doesn't come out with us, like, ever. Oh wait. No, she did that one time for Larkin's birthday last year. She had approximately two Miller Lites and according to her crazy stories, expelled both of them on her drive home. TWO. It takes like twenty TWO to make me barf, but whateva.

(In case you don't know how to spot a hooker, she is the one on the right)

So hookercheese has been making these bombass bracelets for us peeps at work! Check mine out:

She and her boyfriend dubbed it "The Jellybean".

Yeah, jealous is not a good color for you...so please, redirect. BOO YA!

Over The Top!

I got this lovely "Over The Top" award yesterday from Sunshine...thanks girl!!

It is like a mini-meme - FUN!

I pass it along to the following peeps:

1. Annie at The Life and Times of the Biers Family, Part II. We have been friends since college and I lurve her thiiiiiiiisssssssssssss much! She also has a precious child named Matthew and wonderful husband named Mike and is pregers with kid number two!! The family in general is Over The Top!

2. Sandra at If Laughter is The Best Medicine. We went to high school together, though she was a year below me. Her husband, Brad, and I were in the same class and have known each other since 3rd grade. We played all kinds of sports together and she is absolutely one of my favorite people eva! She and Brad also have FOUR children. YES, FOUR. I am pretty sure she had all four before she was 25. That is for sure Over The Top!

3. Lasty, to Dawg at Dyked Out. The adventures of Dawg and Hottie are Over The Top. Stories of crazy ex's and motorcycle adventures and living in Canada...yep, Over The Top, Eh! Not to mention, I feel certain she can cut a bitch!

1. Where is your cell phone... Sitting on my desk

2. Your hair...growing long and getting on my damn nerves.

3. Your mother...I am assuming at work.

4. Your father...He should be at work too.

5. Your favorite food...Mexican food. And I am having it for lunch today!

6. Your dream from last night...I don't remember.

7. Your favorite drink...Beer for sure!

8. Your dream/goal...to enjoy life as much as possible!

9. What room are you in...my office.

10. What is your hobby...going to the beach, riding the motorcycle, travelling, going to concerts, karaoke.

11. What is your fear...not knowing. Drives me nuts sometimes!

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years...I would like to have finished school, be married and perhaps have some kids or something. If that doesn't work out, then doing what I am doing now is pretty fun!

13. Where were you last night...at home watching shows with Bobby and Krystal.

14. Something you are not...afraid to speak in front of people.

15. Muffins?...Blueberry

16. Wish List items...travel to Europe and South America, go on a cruise.

17. Where did you grow up...Georgia

18. Last thing you did...Type Georgia. LOL, just kidding...finished up an Answer to a Complaint here at work.

19. What are you wearing...Pinstripe pants and a turtle neck.

20. Your t.v...is at home.

21. Your Pets...ALL OF THEM?!? I only own two cats, Kitter and Boo Boo and three ferrets, Jacque, Wee Bit and Bubba.

22. Friends...A few close ones, lots of peeps I hang out with though!

23. Your life...always entertaining.

24. Your mood...little sleepy, but doin pretty good!

25. Missing someone...I miss people all the time!

26. Vehicle...2000 Mazda Protege...soon to be upgraded!

27. Something your not wearing...Pajamas. And I wish I was!

28. Your favorite store...New York and Company

29. Your favorite colors...Blue

30. When's the last time you laughed...Everyday!

31. When's the last time you cried...When Syber Kitty had to be put to sleep.

32. Your best friend...I have a few!!

33. One place you go over and over...Work and the bar.

34. One person who emails me regularly...People at work and my grandparents.

35. Favorite place to eat?...Carlito's Mexican Restaurant