I LOVE Awards!

OK, so even though yesterday was an amazing day of drunkery (SHOCKER!) I am finally recovered enough to post this here bloggy!

So Mamma Dawg, in all of her glory, has bestowed upon me this here award:



Apparently there are rules, or some kind of shenanigans, to this award. I posteth them now:

1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.

2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.

3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.

Instructions: On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then "add image" it in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the "picture" gidget. Also, don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by emailing them or leaving a comment on their blog.

Those instructions were amazingly detailed.

So, let's talk about addictions, shall we?

1. Physical: Cigarettes. Not my proudest of addictions, but one nonetheless. I actually didn't realize I was addicted until I had to drive my grandparents 8 hours to Memphis. I was pretty much about to jump out of my skin when I got there. I promptly ran behind the house and ducked behind the shed...just like that one time when I was 15 and Christine made me smoke that first cigarette. I also blame her for my addiction. Interestingly, I didn't actually start smoking regularly until I was about 21.

2. Blogs. I am totally addicted to blogs. It feeds my need to be informed about anything and everyone. Not only that, but you meet really cool people and get to know about their lives.

3. MySpace and Facebook. They are both like crack. 'Nuff said.

4. Karaoke. Well, singing in general. I always have some song in my head and I am always down for singing some karaoke. As a matter of fact, that was one of the things I did last night. I hate you missed it, because it was da bomb!

5. Coffee. I can't get enough coffee. I had like four cups this morning and my typing speed is off the chain. WAHOOOOOOOOOO!

And here are my five peeps in which I bestow this award upon:

1. The (Former) Office Mate: because she is the shiznit! I totally miss her like thiiiiiiiiissssssssss much!

2. Punk Rock Daddy-yo - because there is nothing that would make me giggle more than to see this award on his blog. And it would be funny to hear him say "FABULOUS". Hummm, perhaps I have been hanging out in gay bars a bit too much lately.

3. The Daily WTF - because she is my GURL! She was one of the first blogs I ever [stalked] read. Plus she is hot. And has a friend named Laura that is hot. And a friend named Jenn that is hot. Well, actually she has alot of hot friends. And she is fabulous. And she has a tattoo. And she is hot.

4. Unmitigated - because I had some teachers in my day that remind me alot of her. She has also done a jam up job raising two very well rounded kids.

5. Jes at The Russo Family Adventures - Jes and I are virtual twins. She and her hubby, Rob, have the most adorable baby girl, Ellie. Besides, her blog REALLY IS fabulous!

ALRIGHTY THEN...that totally exhausted me. So I must go back to watching TV on the couch.

Love ya, mean it!

Sad Times in the Animal Kingdom

God I hope Krystal doesn’t decide to read my blog today. She never does, so hopefully that will remain the same. Krystal is in Massachusetts for 8 days visiting family. I am not going to tell her about the below until she returns.

Today is going to be a really hard day.

The second ferret we ever got, Dr. Binky Winky, is very sick. I have made an appointment to have him put to sleep today.

First of all, let me tell you it is very frustrating when people won’t help you. I called the vet last night 20 minutes before they closed and the doctor had already left. I asked if there was ANYONE there that could help me; my animal is suffering. Nothing. I am not a vet, but I know when an animal is dying and I know when it is time, as a mother, to make the call and say, “Let me do what is right for you, little one”.

The emergency vet doesn’t see exotics…and it would also cost me $100.00. ARE YOU KIDDING? I am not asking you to do surgery, I am asking for you to give my furry friend a shot to peacefully put him to sleep.

He made it through the night, but looks terrible this morning. My vet can't see him today until 5:00.

So I wait. I am totally stressed out about this…and if you know me, I don’t get stressed out about anything. It has something to do with the fact that I am in charge of taking a life. Some of you may say it is just an animal or whatever, and yes, I agree, animals are different than humans, but it still doesn’t mean they don’t make an impact on our lives and it still doesn’t mean that I am not in charge of deciding when something lives or dies.

We got Dr. Binky Winky almost two years ago. He was sick when we got him. We got him from Pet Smart...which I would NEVER do again. He had parasites in his digestive tract. He was very sick. We didn't have the heart to return him to the store, even though they would have given us another ferret for free. We knew that they would either kill him or let him die. We just couldn't do it. So Dr. Binky has been a sick ferret all his life. He never really got over his illnesses. I think we have given him a good life.

So here's to you buddy!

I Love When My Mornings Start Like This...

Dear Filthy Nasty Drunk Dumbass Homeless Person:

Stay the fuck out of the Jeep! Seriously?!? This is the third time you have waltzed your ass up in that vehicle like you fucking own the shit! And by the way, you fucking dumbass, there are four zippers you can unzip to get inside the Jeep…you need NOT tear a hole in the mother fucking window! That is going to cost $300.00 to replace you asshole! And for what?!? What did you take? NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF NASTY COCA-COLA SOAKED STICKY PENNIES!

And you made me late for work.

Speaking of work…get a JOB! Do you know how hard I work just to have simple pleasures like drinking a beer with my people or to go and eat sushi on occasion? Probably not…because you have no concept of what it actually means to value something.

And take a bath douche bag! Dude, you totally left dirt all up in that Jeep…I mean, it is a Jeep and all, but still, I didn’t ask for YOUR dirt to be in there. The doors will be unlocked from now on, and there will STILL be nothing in there for you to steal. You got all the pennies dude, and I am sure as fuck not replacing those for you.

Just wait, I am gonna go all Goonies on your ass and fucking booby trap the hell out of that Jeep…

Considering you broke into the next door neighbor’s car too, I am sure they have a very strongly worded letter for you as well, so I will let you get back to your pathetic excuse for a life now.

Christmas List 2008

It is time to start my Christmas list again…so these are the things I have come across that you may purchase for me:

THE HAND" R/C WINDOW SIGN
Electroluminescent Animation



First of all, the word electroluminescent is just fun to say. Say it with me: Electro-lum-in-es-cent. SEEEEEE! FUN! Secondly, how many times have you been driving and needed one of THESE! Uh, the answer is like a bizzionty times! The only flaw I see is that many times it is the person in front of me that warrants one of these gestures, therefore, I request that you buy me two. One for the front and one for the back..

Easy Pull Can Crushing System with Collection Bin



Uh, HELLO! Have you read my blog before?! OK, then you know that we drink our fair share of beer and by fair share I mean, at times, it can be up to three cases a week. Count it: 24 x 3 = 72 beer cans that are just stacking up in bags upon bags and in bins upon bins. As a matter of fact, we have ceased our recycling efforts because the amounts of bags that we have currently stacked up are so numerous that we will not be able to take them all to the recycle place in one load. Though, I suppose we could take all three cars…hummm, **IDEA**. All the same, we need a can crusher so we can minimize the can/bag/bin build up. Either that or quit drinking beer…and like THAT is going to happen. Strangely, I would like a beer right now.

A Hippopotamus



But not just any hippo…I want a pygmy hippo. NOW. Is it just me or is that the cutest, most scrumdiddlyuptious lil thing you have ever seen in your LIFE! My voice went up about 15 octaves the first time I saw a pygmy hippo in that CNN article. I seriously almost had an aneurysm.


Guitar Hero – World Tour

You do understand that this game allows you to play with three of your closest friends, has music from R.E.M., Michael Jackson, Oasis, Steely Dan, Sublime (just to name a few) and allows you to record and edit your OWN FUCKING MUSIC, right?!?! What more needs to be said!

I already bought this hat, so no need to get that for me.



Red Bull Refrigerator



I personally don’t drink the crack, I mean [tastes like] shit, I mean beverage, but the people in my household are fiends for it! I believe it would behoove us to have a fridge to store their drug of choice in. It only seems right.

I would personally choose a a Kegerator



That’s right my beer lovers! It is like being at the bar all the time! In the comfort of your own home! DRAFT BEER! Ohhh the bliss! Please note, if you purchase me a kegorator, I will have no need for the can crusher.

Beach Wagon

I have wanted one of these bitches for three beach seasons now.



And I need the above wagon to haul this:



I am not quite sure you grasp how much I WANT/NEED this tent. I have been known to stare my tent owning beach neighbor into the ground, with much animosity, with much hatred, when they pop up their First-Up Canopy…I WANT THIS TENT! When I go to the beach, I stay under something…it used to be an umbrella, but after two seasons, that thing gave out. My current tent is a POS.

OK, well I think I have given you plenty to choose from…happy shopping! I will eagerly await!

Musical Eff Ups

I am a HUGE fan of music...love music. Have the useless talent of pretty much knowing every lyric to every popular song from 1950 to the present. I'm not lying...just ask my peeps! Do you know how many times they have had to shut me up?! I can also tell you the artist and name (plus lyrics) of most of the songs from 1970 to the present. Hummm, really not that impressive, so just forget I ever said any of that and I will figure out a better, much more admirable talent and holla atcha!

Onward...so mankind has had a few lyrical blunders...let's think of a few popular ones...like "Blinded by the Light" by Manfred Mann's Earth Band - the lyric is ""revved up like a duce...", but half the world thinks it is "wrapped up like a douche" - THOUGH I have to say my most favorite part of that song is the part that goes "And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly" which actually sounds like "And a little girly pearly gave my anus curly wurly" which is just hilarious, I don't care who you are.

Some of my friends have had some good fuck ups too...for instance, my friend Christine (best friend for about 14 years now) was in the car (in high school) and we were listening to The Steve Miller Band (whom I have seen in concert - LOVES!) and the song "Jungle of Love" came on. Uh-huh. My girl is over there singing to the TOP OF HER LUNGS - "CHUG A LUG! It's driving me mad, it's driving me CRAAAYYZZYYYY CHUG A LUG!..." I was like, "Chug a lug?" WTF? And that is when you get that look from the other person where they are like, "Whaa? You mean that isn't what they say?" "Really?" "Are you sure?!?" And that is when you have to be all logical on their ass and ask, "Why would a Chug a Lug be driving him crazy?" Really.

My most famous fuck up was "Beast of Burden" by The Rolling Stones, the lyrics goes "I will never be your beast of burden" and I was pretty darn sure they said "I will never be your pink suburban", but again, you have to throw that logic in there and wonder WHY would anyone be a pink suburban? And did they even HAVE suburbans in late 1970's? And who would paint their suburban pink?

All of that was to say that last night Larkin came over for a drink or 10, some Hamburger Helper and to talk about her Mom, the eulogy tomorrow and just some general funny shit that we remember about her Mom.

So in the middle of this conversation, Larkin was telling me about how she unlocked a shit-ton of songs on Rock Band 2, including Alanis Morissette - "You Oughta Know".

(Now, if you don't know, on Rock Band you have a drummer, two guitar players and a singer. So the singer has to follow along to the words and this usually falls upon the shoulders of either Larkin or myself.)

Larkin turns to me and says, "Did you know she says "Of the cross I bear that you gave to me"?" I said, "Yeah...what did you think it said?"

"The cross-eyed bear that you gave to me"

Update

For those of you that have been keeping up...I am just letting you know that Larkin's Mom passed a few minutes ago...thank you for your thoughts, prayers and good vibes! I know they were felt. Please continue to do what you do as they continue this difficult process.

Rest in Peace Mariah.

Being a Twin is Fun!

Meet Jes.

I totally dig the fact that she was fly enough to have the same pronunciation of our name, but drop an "s" for coolness.

In conjunction with sharing the coolest name on the planet, we actually got our hairs did the same. Jes opted for the longer bang, whereas I cannot stand for hair to be in my eyes, so I had mine cut a tad shorter. Other than that we are pretty fly for some white girlz!





Damn girl...it is hard to be such a hottie, isn't it?!?

Let's Talk About The Weather

Can I just say that I don’t appreciate cold weather!

I know many of you have much colder weather in other parts of the country…even snow this morning, but I am from the south and in the south, just as our summers are hot as hades, because of the humidity, our “winters” are cooler because of the humidity. Case in point: the thermometer says 47 degrees…but it feels like 41 degrees. The wind is also blowing at about 15 mph. Tonight it will be getting down to 27 degrees. TWENTY-SEVEN?!? WTF?! I live in the south for a reason…and that is to stay AWAY from the cold. It is only November! Our cold weather isn’t supposed to start until January. I am done bitching now.

In a previous post I spoke of my friend Larkin’s mom, Mariah. Mariah is still hanging on, but hasn’t been conscious for about four days. She obviously hasn’t eaten or drank anything in those days either. So, despite the fact that her body is hanging on, she isn’t really here and the doctors keep saying it won’t be long. Our bodies really are amazing things. Though Mariah is sick, her body still works to sustain life. It doesn’t understand that it is fighting a loosing battle; it just knows what it is supposed to do. Please continue to have Larkin, her mom and the rest of the family in your thoughts, prayers and general good ju ju.

Ohhhhh hairs are getting cut today! I am a good three weeks past my normal six week hair cutting time. It is getting a bit unruly.

Ok, it is time to work…I will leave you with this adorable picture of me and Bobby taken last weekend at Venus de Milo!

It's a Slow Blog Day

Because I have nothing to post today, I am going to post another Meme...WHY? Because it is fun bitches!

OH, I do have to say that we went to the strip club this weekend and bought Bobby a lap dance from this fine young lady:



Bobby questioned his sexuality after that lil throw down. Hehe! Who wouldn't though, right?!?

I love me some Trinity! (We have a long history with Trinity, see blog post in January of 2007 and you can find various strip club stories from that point forward. Good times.)

So I am stealing this MeMe from Partly Cloudy who was expelled from this woman's uterus. Good peeps right there.

Onward...to...Meme...
______________________

Song that:

Reminds you of an ex-lover: "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan. Boy, there is such a history here and one day I might take the time to explain it...but let's just say that song was PERFECT for our relationship. Think age gap. Big one.

Reminds you of an ex-friend: Shiiiit, I ain't got no ex-friends. So a song that reminds me of all my not-so-close-but-we-still-love-each-other friends I pick "Rosa Parks" by OutKast. There was many a dancin to that song before our basketball games.

Makes you cry: "Nothing Compares" by Sinead O'Connor. Every. Fucking. Time. Such a heartbreaking song!

Makes you laugh: "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix Alot. You can't NOT laugh when you hear that one! "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!" It is my motto actually.

You never want to hear again: Ohhh, I really had to think about this one, but I am gonna go for "We Like to Party" by Vengaboys. Yep, it is already in my head and I want it out...NOW.

Sums up your teenage years: "Back that Ass Up" by Juvenile OMG! I still love that song! It is going to be our anthem in the nursing home...I just know it!

You want to get married to: Ewww, yuk, marriage. I will get back to you on this one! :)

You like to wake up to: "Heavy" by Collective Soul. If that doesn't get your ass moving, I don't know what will.

You like out of your parents' collection: All the Pink Floyd albums. Did you know that I JUST found out that those albums belonged to my MOTHER?! I thought they were Dad's the whole time! I have recently put together that my Mother was a pot head! The woman taught me how to tye dye shirts and make hemp bracelets for the love of baby unicorns! It wasn't until the Pink Floyd album information that I put it all together though. WHAT?! I'm slow, OK!

Wouldn't know about if it weren't for a friend: "American Boy" by Estelle ft. Kanye West. I would like to give a shout out to Magan for sending that one my way. I freakin LOVE IT!

You want at your funeral: "Shoop" by Salt-N-Pepa. Hands down the best rap/sing along song in the WORLD. If you don't believe me, come check me out at karaoke sometime. I will show you the wonderment of that song!

MeMe!

Ohhh it's just like MySpace surveys! Which I love...but since most of you aren't on my MySpace (but you totally can be if you ask nicely) then I will post what you blogger folks are calling a Meme...(stolen from Why Are You Stalking Me)

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? I do! But here we spell it bleu, am I wrong in this? Do others not spell it like that? Is it a Southern thing? OMG! We can't spell!?!

2. Favorite late night snack? I am not much of a snacker...but if I HAD to choose it is cereal OR chips and salsa

3. Do you own a gun? Not at this moment, but had guns growing up in my parents house. Southern girl!

4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop? White Chocolate Iced Mocha

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No. I got used to it at about 6 months old I would imagine

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Are you kidding?? I love those lil fuckers! Put them in your mac and cheese and you have a completely different meal! It is amazing!

7. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee. I LOVE coffee!

9. Can you do push-ups? Maybe one.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? I am gonna have to say hoop earrings.

11. Favorite hobby? Riding the motorcycle



12. Do you have A.D.D.? I certainly blame A.D.D. for my not so stellar moments, but I am not sure that I actually have it.

13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? My pride.

14. The last disease you contracted? Does an eye sty count? That lil shit hurt!

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. This movie has a great soundtrack (You've Got Mail), I need to go and start some laundry, It sure is cold in this house

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Coffee, water and beer

17. Current worry right now? Financial shit

18. Current hate right now? Spending money on toilet paper and tampons. Very necessary, but so unnecessary that they cost so much.

19. Favorite place to be? With friends

20. How did you ring in the New Year? At the Tybee beach, drinking with friends, singing karaoke, watch Brian steal a pizza, watching Krystal steal a bike and watching Krystal and Larkin run through the sprinklers at the hotel. Can't wait till this year!

21. Like to travel? I LOVE IT!

22. Name three people who will complete Sunday Stealing this week: Gawd, who knows.

23. Do you own slippers? Yep

24. What color shirt are you wearing? Black Miller Lite shirt

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No, I like those t-shirt kind much better.

26. Can you whistle? Totally

27. Favorite singer/band? Ed Roland of Collective Soul...der!

28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? Oh God no! Do they smoke, drink or have bars there? I didn't think so...so hells to the naw.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't do much of anything in the morning. I am on auto-pilot.

30. Favorite girl’s names? MacKenzie

31. Favorite boy’s name? Corbin

32. What’s in your pocket right now? No pockets

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Rachelle talking about her terrible Saturday night

34. Like your job? I LOVE my job.

36. Do you love where you live? I LOVE where I live.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? Four, but only three are in use

38. Who is your loudest friend? Magan (Hi Magan! LOVE YOU! MEAN IT!)

39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed? I just hang with the folks on the road...but if it is open road I tend to go a little over

40. Does someone have a crush on you? Oh gawd...get in line! Who doesn't!

41. What is your favorite book? I am reading Marley and Me right now and it is pretty good, but my favorite book is Lamb by Christopher Moore. Go get it. NOW.

42. What is your favorite candy? Chewy Runts.

43. Favorite Sports Team? I love me some Patriots.

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? I was watching Lock-up: Raw. I love that show!

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? WOW! I slept till 12:00 and I didn't even go out last night!

Is It The Weekend Yet?

Ok, you guys know I love you, right? Right. But seriously, WTF? I try and stay away from gender issues…it is a tough line to approach, much less cross. I know transgendered people (personally, as well as on this lovely internet) and though I cannot claim to fully understand, I can say that I am THANKFUL that I do not have to endure such hardship. I can empathize with the feeling of being born in the wrong body. How terrible would that feel?!?

Whatever, that isn’t really what this post is about…it is really about this Thomas Beatie.



First of all…the press…what is WRONG with you people? This whole publicity thing about a man having a baby is false. This is a biological woman who identifies as a man, but during transition decided to keep the reproductive organs in order to become pregnant. (I guess that is too long to put in the headlines though)

They are making it into some kind of freak show: “MAN HAS BABY!”

Some people would say it IS a freak show…but in reality it is just a woman (transitioned and living as a man) who happens to not have any breast and has grown facial and body hair.

To be fair, we probably all know a woman out there that has been through breast cancer…my own grandmother is down one breast and has been for decades…doesn’t make her any less of a woman or any more of a man. It is just a damn boob. And I know for a FACT that we have all seen some women out there, especially those behind the counter at the 7-11, sporting more facial hair than your boyfriend/husband/father/brother/cousin’s goat…doesn’t make her a man.

So if breast don’t make you a woman and not having them doesn’t make you a man, when what is the point? It is an identity thing. People identify others by body parts…boobs make you a woman. Removing them helps remove the uncomfortable moments for both. That is what I gather anyway.

I personally love my boobs, and I love others boobs, and just saying the word boobs makes me smile, because boobs are probably the one and only thing that I can say are undeniably, beautifully perfect. As a matter of fact, I am now accepting pictures of boobs…send me yours today! :) Just kidding, please don’t send me your boobs pictures…not that I don’t think they are beautiful and all, because they ARE, but if there is going to be any sharing of boobs, I am insistent it be either A) in the strip club or B) over profuse amounts of alcohol…otherwise, it just MIGHT be weird.

The point is that people are insistent upon having labels because if they need something to start with in order to judge. That is why we are so inquisitive when we meet someone new…we need to know something about them so we can start up some discussion. This discussion could be good, bad, indifferent, but the point is to have a starting point. Your brain makes judgments for you just off of what it perceives to see…so when you are confused about what you see, “Is this a man? Is this a woman?”, your normal “starting point” has been derailed…how do you even begin?!? I think we are all guilty of it. I start conversations with men differently than I do women. I also present myself to men differently than I do women. It is just how life has taught us to be.

Ok, where am I going with this? I really have no idea…I am just throwing out a half-assed theory about why people are uncomfortable with the idea of transgender issues. I read a very interesting post from one of Deb’s friends, Patty, who is transgendered. Please read! Very educational post!

Here's To You Kid

It is inevitable that life will one day end for all of us. My plan is to go before anyone else I love goes, you know, so I don’t have to deal with the pain and loss…chances are I won’t get that wish. I say that is shit, God says that is how it goes buck-a-roo.

If you have spent even a fraction of a minute here on my blog, you have no doubt seen some pictures of my girl, Larkin.










Well, I guess if you hadn’t seen pictures…you have now. So, anyway, that is my girl Larkin. I met Larkin two or so years ago when I moved to Savannah. She was the first person I met when I came in for my interview at this here law firm I work at. We hit it off pretty much immediately I would say! Within the first week of me working she invited me to go out with her, her boyfriend Paul and some friends of theirs. We played pool, we laughed, we became like this. (cross your fingers)

Since Debbie… wait, you remember Office Mate Debbie right?



(Muhahahha! She HATES when I put her picture up!)

Well, anyway, since Debbie decided to move to Maryland cause she is all in loooooovvveee (GAG ME WITH A SPOON!) Larkin was promoted from receptionist to FORMER Office Mate Debbie’s position as legal secretary. Larkin and I are now Office Mates. YAY!

Anyway, what I was getting to was that Larkin’s mom was placed in hospice last week. Her mom (whom I have also known since I have been here) has been sick for years with various ailments, including diabetes and kidney failure.

Fortunately, it was her mother’s decision to go to hospice, as she had grown tired of dialysis and being in pain all the time. I am thankful she was in right mind and could make that decision herself. I can certainly respect that. I know, for a fact, that I would do the same thing. I am a big believer in having a quality life while here on earth and if one day I decide that “this isn’t what I signed up for” I too would decide to let things be.

The saddest part about this whole ordeal is that it isn’t supposed to be happening NOW, not at THIS time of life. Larkin is about 4 years younger than me; her Mother is younger than mine….too young.

If you think about it, diseases such as kidney failure have been around since people have had kidneys. (and for those of you that don’t want to do the math…that would be forever) We, as humans, evolving and being ever so smart, have devised a way to prolong life using science.

I know that Larkin and her family are thankful for the time that they were able to have with her mother…it still doesn’t make it any easier to see them go.

We learned yesterday that Mariah (Larkin’s mom) has about two days left…I am asking all of you to join together and no matter what you believe, send some good thoughts, wishes, prayers this way…to Mariah, to Larkin and to her family. For Mariah, for a happy and peaceful moving on…to Larkin (and the rest of the family) for a happy and peaceful farewell time with your mother (sister, wife) and that remembrances of her will be what you hold closest to you.

Bobby's 30th Birthday Party!

Happy mutha effin Birthday Bobby! We did it up RIGHT, SON!

So we had a GREAT turn out! I would say a good 50 people showed up, progressively, throughout the night.

We know it was a great party because of these things:

1. There were kegs stands
2. There was nudity
3. The cops came by…TWICE
4. There was puking (by two of the guests)
5. There was passing out

Let me start off by saying the kegs are very tempermental creatures.



Krystal used proper precaution when tapping the keg.





After such was done, I decided to de-foam it, but not understanding the nozzle was actually de-flicted and ended up spraying it all over me...which, naturally, was hilarious.





We hooked up the house with some decorations





Took some photo ops with some of the finest friends anyone could ask for













We did a shit-ton of dancing too!















Flashed people (hey, at least I had my good bra on!)





Took a few self portraits











And maybe only got thiiisssss drunk



SO, Punk Rock Dad had a challenge for us. We were able to succeed, but only halfway. I give you the reason why…we were already wasted when we started doing keg stands, therefore our ability to hold ourselves up with one hand was nixed. Unless of course we wanted to fall off the porch, which I was not up for…but all the same. We do have these boob grabbing pictures for you:





It was a helluva time! I wish everyone could have been there...twas a good throw down!

So last thing to say is HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY, BOBBY!! WE LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!