My Christmas was awesome, as usual. Family and friends is such a great part of Christmas for me. Especially since I am now at an age where getting more stuff is more of an inconvenience than anything else. The only thing I can think of is "where am I going to put THAT?!" Thankfully, this year, everything was totally put-able somewhere. Some gift cards that get put in my wallet and used to buy important things like underwear and toilet paper. PJ's that are so wonderfully soft and sleepable. And some money from my G-Ma that has already been put to use buying gas to get back home!
So we left on Sunday around 11:00. The drive down I-16 is very, very boring. About an hour and a half into the drive I see pretty lights in the rear view which was then followed by an exasperated "Oh shit" sigh from me. Georgia State Patrol aka God's Special People had decided that I was speeding. I had the cruise control on and I am pretty darn sure that I set that sucker at 75 (speed limit is 70) so yes, technically, I guess I was speeding, but Officer Young Buck said I was going 85. This is just the beginning. He comes around to Krystal's side of the vehicle and asks for the normal identification. He takes a look and asks me to step out of the vehicle. He asks if I had been drinking tonight because I reeked of alcohol. Pssshhhaahhh! WHAT?! Bastard is insulting my perfume! Anyway, he tells me he is going to conduct a field sobriety test, so I get a little excited that I am going to get to walk the line and say my ABC's. (I practiced the LMNOP part in my head a little – taking advise from Sylvia from Intervention. According to her, that is where they getcha cause you go lmnop really fast and slur it) BUT, instead he just made me blow. Twice. Both times I came up at .05, because, yes, I did have a beer before I left Savannah an HOUR ago. Let it be known that the limit is .08, I was well under.
Since he didn't get me on the drunk driving part he THEN decides to accuse us of trafficking drugs. Apparently the Jeep smelled like marijuana to him. So he tells Krystal to get out of the Jeep and says that it just reeks (apparently this is his new favorite word that he just learned in GSP school last week). We tell him that there are no drugs in the vehicle and that we don't even smoke weed. He says he does this everyday and has been doing it a long time and he knows what he smells. SO we give him permission to search the vehicle. It is getting to be slightly entertaining at this point cause he is just looking like a dumbass now. Other than the fact that we are standing on the side of I-16 at 12:30 in the morning and it is freezing, this could have been even MORE fun! After the fact I thought about how, if we were not in such a hurry to get to Macon AND it was so cold, we should have asked for the dogs to be brought out, along with is superior officer, cause this is total harassment. So Officer Ima Badass says that he is finding TONS of (pot) seeds in the floor of the car. Mmmkk. See that is interesting there Officer, cause WE DON'T SMOKE WEED, we drink like damn fish, but geeezus, there is really no pot in there! Again, I think we were both just so frustrated with the situation that we didn't bother to ask about these seeds that he was finding, we just stood there shaking our heads. In hindsight, I would have LOVED to see what he THOUGHT were seeds. We did, however, take a look later, we found some sesame seeds from our hamburgers along with your common variety of seeds that come from various plants such as Bahia grass. This is a Jeep after all and we do take it out at times to go off road.
After he turns up nothing he comes back to us and tells us that we are incredibly intoxicated and we need to get off at the next exit and get something to eat. HELLO!!! I blew a .05! I could get that from using mouthwash!! Are you KIDDING! He also tells us that we need to get rid of the marijuana in the car. 'TARD.
After about 30 minutes of him looking ridiculous he says he is going to let me go with a warning. WOW…YA THINK? Amazing really…cause if he really did think I was intoxicated, hauling drugs AND speeding one would venture to guess that he would write me a ticket for SOMETHING.
So, yeah, that is how it started off. Let me just say that we did get lucky in one aspect. Krystal did have a beer with her about 30 minutes before we got pulled over, but when we stopped to get something to eat she threw it away. For that I am thankful cause open container is a pretty hefty fine!
Other than that lil fiasco the rest of the trip was great! I got to see my basketball coach Derzi and that was a nice visit. I also got to visit with my good friends from way back (4th grade to be exact) Holly and Heather. They both have BEAUTIFUL children and Heather is due to have a baby boy in the early months of next year! I got to meet Holly's little boy William for the first time; what a sweetheart! I also got to see Heather's baby girl, Gracie, again, but this time she was actually talking. She is gorgeous and full of energy! I like her already!
It was good to see family as well…lots of good food as usual!
Mom and Dad bought them and the boys a nice 50" plasma. I can't believe that I won't be there to enjoy it, but WHATEVER, I'm not mad. NO, nuh uh, not me. Nope. [sticking tongue out]
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I expect the new year to be as great as the last!!
I do have a funny story to tell that has nothing to do with Christmas, but a little to do with family.
My family went to church with this lady and her husband back when I was quite young. The husband fell ill (proper use of grammar there, thank you) sometime earlier this year and went into a coma. During his coma the kids, and even his mother, were in his room arguing about money that they were going to get and basically acted like a bunch of vultures ready to feed. Well, he woke up…and he had heard EVERYTHING. He immediately went and got his will changed, gave everything to his wife, even wrote his own MOTHER out of the will, and ended up dying about six months after that. The kids got NOTHING. Sweet justice that is! I told my mom and dad to spend EVERYTHING! I can't really speak for my brothers, but as the oldest I will, I insist that my parents enjoy themselves and spend everything they worked for…I think they are getting a good start by buying that plasma…so keep it up mom and dad!!!
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