I bring the following story up because it is right on point with one of the fears that parents have the most.
Joe is now 21 and in the Coast Guard.
Jake is 19 and is still working on completing his high school diploma.
For me, high school was a breeze. I actually graduated a year early (17 years old) because I was able to start my schooling career (K-4) at the age of 3. Both of my brothers struggled in school.
Joe was eventually diagnosed with ADD and Jake with ADHD.
I know there are many out there who have issues with the diagnosis of attention deficit, but it is very real and, in my opinion, needs to be diagnosed as soon as possible; perhaps sometime after kindergarten, but before 3rd grade.
Both of the bro’s were diagnosed too late; the result is that they both fell behind in school. Joe graduated from high school when he was 20 and we just discovered last week that Jake dropped out of school. This was a huge disappointment for the family.
My parents and Jake live in the middle Georgia area. I live in Savannah, Georgia, which is almost 200 miles south east of where they live. Joe is in Key West, Florida.
My mother calls me to ask if Jake had contacted me. I say, “No, why?” She proceeded to tell me that he had dropped out of school and Dad let him know that he was either to get back in school or get out of the house. Except he would have to walk, cause he wasn’t going to take a car, and he would have to use a payphone for someone to pick him up, because he was also keeping his cell phone, but he would be happy to pack his clothes in a plastic bag and see him on his way.
Mom warned me to expect a call from him asking me if he could move in with me and get a job. (The answer, ladies and gentlemen, would be a resounding hell to the effin naw.)
After speaking with Mom I find out this drop out is due to a combination of bad decisions as far as whom he has chosen as friends, his age, him being a boy, him being 19 and thinking he knows everything there is to know about life and (I think) him being the youngest and spoiled beyond belief!
So Mom gets off the phone with me…ten minutes later I get a phone call from Joe.
“Did you HEAR what Jake did?!?”
“Yes, Mom called me…I guess she called you too?”
“Yeah she did! I am going to kick his ASS!”
This tough, manly speak went on for another 5 minutes or so and then I had to hang up due to work actually expecting me to work and such.
Unbeknownst to Jake, the circle of phone calls went on for another day or so. Very much reminded me of that show, Brothers and Sisters. (If you have seen the show, just know it very much reminds me of my family's dynamics)
I find out that Mom and Dad went to the school and had a sit down (again, without Jake’s knowledge) to find out exactly what it would take to have him graduate in two months. The school came to an agreement that Jake would work from home for four days, catch up on his work, and they would then see about letting him back in school.
I called Jake on Friday afternoon.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Jake, whatcha doin?
“Chemistry.”
“Oh, I see. Well, I was just calling to say I love you!”
“[gets a little choked up] Who told you?”
“Oh puleeze son, I know everything!”
“No, really, who told you?”
“Well, Mom called and said you were having a tough time, so I was calling to say to keep your head up, you can get through this!”
“[voice sounding very much like it is the end of the world] Yeah, I hope so, but I just don’t know. I just hate the way Mom is treating me."
"Jake, this isn't something that happened over night. This is a culmination of some bad decisions you decided to make along the way."
"Well, you know what she is doing now?! She is MAKING me get a job and having me sign over my paychecks to her!! Can you believe that?!"
"Yeah, I can. Do you know that the rest of your life, the money that you make, most of it is going to go to other people?! She is just doing this to help you make better decisions."
The funny thing is, I can totally understand the despair he is going through...I totally get that he thinks that this is sooooo unfair, it is the end of the world and there is no reason behind what Mom and Dad are putting him through...and suddenly I find myself completely understanding my parents thought process and that scares me. It means I have actually made it to adulthood....but I will totally deny it if you ask me!
We still have one day left to find out if he is going to be allowed back in school. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
