Four Day Review

What can happen in four days!??

Well, one can travel over 400 miles visiting family! Eat AT LEAST five meals a day. Your brother can get married and a fucking terd munching mother fucking ass hat of a monkey fucking duck thief can jack up your girlfriend's Jeep to the tune of about $3,000.

Let's start with family. WOW. Who knew I had so much and that they all lived at least 30 miles from each other...in opposite directions! I spent the better part of my two days in Middle Georgia traversing I-16/I-75.

Everywhere in black...I was there. Sometimes twice. Grandparents are very insistent that you eat AND come back to visit them multiple times in one trip.

Brother Joe got married.

It wasn't particularly a shock to me and my parents, as they had talked about going to the JP and then having a big wedding later on. It is basically for monetary purposes. It seems that Joseph will be heading off for some kind of Coast Guard school in the next few days and when he gets back in January he will have new orders to move. So he would be able to take his fiance with him AND so they can get more money, they went ahead and tied the knot. I say hells to the yeah! I mean, if you are already going to get married and someone offers you money to do it sooner...umm, TAKE THE MONEY! My parents were in complete agreeance...I think they had a flashback of 30 years ago when they got married and had $100.00 between them and a single wide trailer with no furniture. Unless you count the peach crates they used to sit and eat on. The family is super excited! As soon as my lame bro gets me some pictures, I will post! WELCOME TO THE FAMILY ANA!!!

Jacked up Jeep.

Straight tore the entire dash off to get a damn $50 radio! However, jokes on them.

Dear FUCKFACE:

The faceplate on the radio was cracked due to one of your OTHER cracked out friends stepping on it the LAST time they broke into the Jeep. You wouldn't have noticed it was cracked though, as it needs to be turned on to see. I imagine when you took that piece of shit to the pawn shop you got a pretty good laugh. What isn't so funny is the $500.00 deductible and the time it is going to take to get the Jeep down to the body shop. I know it is Christmas time and you want to make sure that you have some tiny little airplane bottles and crackrock wrapped up under the tree, but is it necessary to cause SO MUCH DAMAGE?

$500 is $100 more than I pay for rent, which by the way, I have to split with two other people because we are NOT FUCKING MADE OF MONEY.

The good news is that I have a good insurance company that, AFTER my $500 donation, is going to pay for the replacement of my dash, radio, CD's...OH! and the iPod you took. Hope you like Jack Johnson and Sister Hazel, though something tells me that you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Hope the $1.23 you took in change helped you through the day. Thanks for leaving my hand sanitizer, though, from the stench you left in there, I wish you would have taken it.

I hope you get run over by a reindeer...

Sin-fucking-cerely,

Hateful Tax Payer

Krystal was horrified that her baby was violated in such a way. Those are just tiny tears. Pooooooor baby!!

Wordless Wednesday!

RTT - Celebrity Shiznit

I randomly search and read about things as they pop in my head. Why Boy George (George Alan O'Dowd) was visiting my thoughts, I have no idea. So naturally I Googled his name and after reading his Wikipedia page, I clicked images.

Oh, how the glamourous have fallen. WTF happened?!?

Someone should tell him that a five year old drew on the back of his head while he was sleeping.

I guess I don't watch enough celebrity news, but I had NO IDEA that Boy George looked like that now!!

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Did you know that Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic is a vegan. He didn't really seem like the vegan type. But then again, he is WEIRD Al. (All offended vegans, please exit to your left) No, wait, come back, I was just kidding. I don't think your nut and berry diet is crazy at ALL. OH! And vegetables. Eh, who am I kidding, you are what you you eat. NUTS! (You can officially exit left now...)

__________________

Anyone else think Dustin Neil Diamond (Screech) is a total douche? I saw some re-runs of Celebrity Fit Club the other day and he pretty much made me want to poke him in the eye. How obnoxious does one person have to be before it is legal to shoot them? His Wiki page is sad and lonely.

Who, What, When, Where and How of Google

Who...is...who? What? Oh yeah, now I remember. I don't watch that show. But the name Big Poppa is great. Is that like Pope-ah?

This one cracked me up hard core! I hope I didn't have any of that fruit salad.

Number two inquiry is important, but really, New Moon...waaayyy better priority!

Question of the ages...

How to get pregnant. WOW.

Come Together and Cure!!

Everyone watch E.R.? Gray's Anatomy? Trauma Life in the E.R.? Read Wikipedia?

Good, then we are all doctors here and I am in need of some help.

We have a 28 year old, Female, who loves beer. (Me!) However, in the past few weeks I have noticed that when I wake up, after an evening of drinks, I have vertigo. Hard core.

Sure, you are saying, "Well, YEAH, you are hungover", but I challenge you, Doctor, and tell you that I AM NOT!

No headache, no dry mouth, no needs for a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit STAT!...just vertigo. It actually does not go away until about mid afternoon. I feel GREAT...except for the dizzies!

I have done everything I can think of. (except NOT drinking, of course)

I eat the night before. I get plenty of sleep. (In bed at 10:30pm)

I even drank less **GASP** and it didn't seem to make a difference.

So, last night, I had four beers before 8:00pm. I started around 5:30pm. I had four more beers by 12:30am. I admit, I didn't get to bed last night until 1:30am.

SO, I had eight beers...EIGHT...in an EIGHT HOUR TIME FRAME and still have the dizzies this morning. WHAT GIVES?! Just last month I could kill a 12 pack, be in bed by 11:00 and wake up the next day with not a symptom to show for it!

This is really ruining my happy drinking time, knowing that in the morning I am going to feel like I am on a merry-go-round for a majority of the day.

OH and another symptom is my vision. It takes me an incredibly long time to focus on whatever is in front of me.

Is my liver revolting on me already? I looked into what they call a "sluggish liver", however, the symptoms don't really cover me:

* high blood pressure

* abdominal bloating

* pot belly, weight gain, cellulite

* elevated cholesterol

* brownish spots on your skin

* acne, pimples, eczema

* hot flashes, irritability, depression

* chronic fatigue syndrome

FINE. I admit...pot belly does fit.

OK Doctors, go...cure me!

Your Almost Friday Art Review

I am so full right now I have a headache. And my pants are too tight. Which is probably restricting blood flow through my body and that is why I have a headache. I love you Mexican food.

Here are some more "artistic" pictures from my jacked up phone!

Yeah, I was totally sitting on the toilet when I took those pictures of the doorknob. Sometimes "art" comes at unexpected times!

I call the above, "Mirror, Mirror...On The Wiz-all" Original, I know!

Wordless Wednesday - I Know What I Want For Christmas

Info

BIG Ouch.

First things first...gotta quit hanging out with rich people.

I am broke. And my body is killing me.

So the rooftop in at the Bohemian...AWESOME! If I was going to own a bar...that would be the one!

The wedding in Hilton Head...OK, so, yes, the original plan was to go to the wedding, which was at 4:00, have a little dinner, do some mingling and then head home. It is only about a 45 minute drive to Savannah. THEN I discovered that when they said OPEN BAR that it was like a full service open bar. Wine, liquor, beer...they even had Heineken! So then I had to get a room...except THIS is where everyone was staying:

(more pictures)

And by the time I went to go pay for the room it didn't hurt as much. Thank you alcohol!

I did not anticipate having as much fun as I did at this wedding. The folks getting married are of two degrees connection to me...in other words, Krystal and Joe know them, not me, I have only met the groom once.

The groom: Joe (the boss man's) business partner and also Krystal's other boss.

The bride: Works at one of the doctors offices Krystal goes to when she does bone density scans.

What made this wedding too much fun?! My boss, Joe, and his wife coming AND spending the night! We didn't get to bed until around 2:00am and REALLY had a great time!

I can PERSONALLY attest that The Westin Hilton Head Resort and Spa's bathroom floors are SPECTACULARLY cold and comfortable. I sure wish I could have spent more time in the bed. That is why my body hurts so much. The left side of my body feels like it ran a marathon, but really that is how ones body reacts when muscle meets marble bathroom floors.

The next morning, it took me two hours to even attempt to get in the Jeep to head home and I couldn't speak on the way home in fear that my equilibrium would awake and realize we were moving/driving down the road. The nausea was almost unbearable. I haven't been that bad off since I was in my EARLY 20's!

I know I talk about how we go out and drink alot...and we do, but we drink beer. And by alot, I mean I can throw back at least 6-12 beers in a night. THIS wedding, I was tilting back the beers on top of shot, after shot, after beer, after shot, after shot. I RARELY DRINK LIQUOR! And now I remember why! I blame Joe completely. That man is a PRO.

SO, you guys will be amazed to know that I am going to detox until Thursday. I STILL feel bad this morning.

P.S. I was pleased to find out that I was not the only person to become familiar with the bathroom floor. Whew.

Forget RTT - This is RFF

Random Fucking Friday people...yes, witty, I know.

So last Saturday we celebrated Bobby's birthday, right? And the next morning afternoon I got up I dragged myself to the corner store to get some sort of doubly spiked caffeinated drink and some horribly awful, but tastes so good, convenient store food. We frequent this store often. They call us by name and always have my cigs out before I even get to the door.

So I waddle up to the door and the normal morning/mid day guy is there, McGarther, and he asks how I am doing, to which I reply, "I have a bit of a hangover, but other than that, OK" To which he replies, " A BIT of a hangover?! You look terrible!"

I just giggled and made a promise to myself that I should check the mirror before I go places.

I went to the same store today to pick up those damn cancer sticks and was once again greeted by McGarther who (after a week of not seeing me) happily comments "I see you got over that hangover of yours!! Last time I saw you, you looked ROUGH!"

Again, mirror. Just a peek. The damn convenient store worker said I looked rough...and do you KNOW what kind of people they see in Savannah? HINT: The homeless mission is one block away.

After work I will be meeting up with some peeps and dining/drinking at a brand new hotel just finished in Downtown Savannah. It is one of those hotels that people like US would never be able to afford, but thankfully it is only a couple blocks away from the Thunderbird Inn. (Cousin to the Pink Flamingo) No, really, peep:

BUT TONIGHT, WE DINE IN...wait, no, that is the wrong script...TONIGHT I go sit with the rich people at the Bohemian Hotel, where the have a rooftop bar. Roof. Top. BAR. Who doesn't love a good rooftop bar! Anyway, go back to that link I just put for the hotel and peep that there first page of scrolling photos. FAYNCEE! (Say that like Reba does in her song, "Fancy")

Have a good weekend, kids. Love ya, mean it!

Another Bier on the Wall!

Welcome Evelyn Pauline Biers!!!

Born at 8:18AM, Wednesday November 11th

8 lbs, 8 oz. and is 21 inches long

Congratulations to Annie, Mike and big brother Matthew!! I love you guys!!!

Friends in Need - And Life To Be Celebrated!

I post the below in remembrance as well as in celebration. There is a life to be remembered and on this day, I am celebrating a life coming into this world. My wonderful friend Annie is scheduled to have her C-Section today. Annie lost a child due to a miscarriage earlier this year...no doubt Annie's baby and Maddie are together now. SO, in celebration of life I would like to copy and re-post this...

I don't think there are too many people reading this who didn't have their heart broken on April 7th of this year. That's the day we learned that Madeline Alice Spohr, whom we all knew as Maddie from The Spohrs Are Multiplying, was suddenly taken from her parents, Heather and Mike, when a respiratory infection coupled with a collapsed lung was more than her 17-month-old body could fight. Thousands of people across the country mourned with Heather and Mike, and thousands came to their support by donating to the March of Dimes in Maddie's memory.

Since then, the Spohrs, along with family and friends, have created Friends of Maddie, a fund dedicated to supporting families of critically ill or prematurely-born infants during their stay in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) with supplies, help finding temporary lodging (because the NICU isn't always within commuting distance of home), and by creating a network of support.

Friends of Maddie uses your donation to put together Support Packs for families who find themselves overwhelmed with the care of an at-risk newborn. The packs include items such as reusable water bottles, snack bars, tissues, mints, and most importantly, a tri-fold binder with a note pad and accordion file to keep track of paperwork.

"We're hopeful it will make it at a little easier for parents to keep track of everything," Heather says."You get SO many papers, business cards, etc., every day, and it's hard to keep track of everything."

She should know, she lived the experience. Maddie's sixty-eight-day stay in the NICU is chronicled on Heather's blog and her husband Mike's blog as well. Readers across the country followed every setback and every victory. What message would she like to pass on to parents in the same situation?

"Patience. Take things a day at a time and live in the moment. Don't look down the road or things will get REALLY scary and overwhelming," shared Heather.

The reaction to the packs has been terrific, according to Heather, "We've been getting a FANTASTIC response from everyone! We weren't expecting such a big response so we are really behind in getting back to everyone, but it's a good problem to have!"

By now, you are all wondering how you can help, right? I knew it. You people rock. Your options:

Donate! I know, the economy is bad right now, but every little bit helps. Or...

Let your local NICU know about Friends of Maddie, or...

Do you work for a company that might bring a valuable service to NICU parents? Contact Form!

Tuesday Already?!? YAY!

This weekend twas the weekend o' Bobz birthday celebration!!! It started on Saturday, leaving me PAINFULLY hungover all day on Sunday. I mean physical pain. I out danced my muscle capability. I also tried to go down the stairs on my ass, but I (not so sure if I am thankful) thankfully caught myself with the underside of my arm/elbow on the handrail that I SHOULD have been using in the first place.

Then on Monday, we all took off work and headed down to the beach to visit our friend Frances and drank beer all the day long! We were all in bed around 10:30pm. I was feeling quite righteous...and feel pretty darn good today too!

Because I am a RETARD I forgot my camera at home...but I promise to get those on here ASAP! Might even go home at lunch and put them on here. Unless I left the camera at Frances'. Damn, I might have done that.

EDIT! PICTURES! These are from Monday. I didn't have my camera on Saturday night...I think Larkin took some pictures though.

Bobby and his gift from Locke, Frances' husband...

I think we ate all Locke's Cashew Butter last time we were there...so he gave Bobby his own!

Frances and Bobby

In case you were wondering...that is how I look on the weekends

Bobbie and Bobby

Middle Brother Looks Like A Size 6

This brother of mine...

...Mr. Coast Guard...Mr. Manly Man, went as THIS for Halloween:

I about peed my pants when he sent me the pictures! The brother doesn't look half bad in drag! His fiance did his makeup. HILARIOUS.

Wordless Wednesday - For Larkin

Halloweenies!

This time change thing has got me rested like a mo fo! I was in bed by 10:30, my body thinking it was midnight. Very rested this morning!

Halloween...I didn't dress up, but Michelle and Ronnie had a bomb diggity get together at her house, complete with an ode to all Pastafarians!

To this I say "RAmen!"

In attendance from my crew were Andy, his new boyfriend, Matt, myself, KK, Larkin, her cousin Catie and her boyfriend Brad. And peeps that Michelle and Ronnie know...here are some visuals for ya!

Krystal got attacked by Catie with kisses

All the dressed up peeps

Andy and Erica

Andy and Pullo

Michelle and Ronnie

Matt, Andy and Erica

Ronnie

Catie, Larkin, Andy and Erica

Catie and Larkin

Andy and Erica

HIIII!

Erica

Pullo didn't think his outfit was as cute as we did