What can happen in four days!??
Well, one can travel over 400 miles visiting family! Eat AT LEAST five meals a day. Your brother can get married and a fucking terd munching mother fucking ass hat of a monkey fucking duck thief can jack up your girlfriend's Jeep to the tune of about $3,000.
Let's start with family. WOW. Who knew I had so much and that they all lived at least 30 miles from each other...in opposite directions! I spent the better part of my two days in Middle Georgia traversing I-16/I-75.
Everywhere in black...I was there. Sometimes twice. Grandparents are very insistent that you eat AND come back to visit them multiple times in one trip.
Brother Joe got married.
It wasn't particularly a shock to me and my parents, as they had talked about going to the JP and then having a big wedding later on. It is basically for monetary purposes. It seems that Joseph will be heading off for some kind of Coast Guard school in the next few days and when he gets back in January he will have new orders to move. So he would be able to take his fiance with him AND so they can get more money, they went ahead and tied the knot. I say hells to the yeah! I mean, if you are already going to get married and someone offers you money to do it sooner...umm, TAKE THE MONEY! My parents were in complete agreeance...I think they had a flashback of 30 years ago when they got married and had $100.00 between them and a single wide trailer with no furniture. Unless you count the peach crates they used to sit and eat on. The family is super excited! As soon as my lame bro gets me some pictures, I will post! WELCOME TO THE FAMILY ANA!!!
Jacked up Jeep.
Straight tore the entire dash off to get a damn $50 radio! However, jokes on them.
Dear FUCKFACE:
The faceplate on the radio was cracked due to one of your OTHER cracked out friends stepping on it the LAST time they broke into the Jeep. You wouldn't have noticed it was cracked though, as it needs to be turned on to see. I imagine when you took that piece of shit to the pawn shop you got a pretty good laugh. What isn't so funny is the $500.00 deductible and the time it is going to take to get the Jeep down to the body shop. I know it is Christmas time and you want to make sure that you have some tiny little airplane bottles and crackrock wrapped up under the tree, but is it necessary to cause SO MUCH DAMAGE?
$500 is $100 more than I pay for rent, which by the way, I have to split with two other people because we are NOT FUCKING MADE OF MONEY.
The good news is that I have a good insurance company that, AFTER my $500 donation, is going to pay for the replacement of my dash, radio, CD's...OH! and the iPod you took. Hope you like Jack Johnson and Sister Hazel, though something tells me that you are going to be sorely disappointed.
Hope the $1.23 you took in change helped you through the day. Thanks for leaving my hand sanitizer, though, from the stench you left in there, I wish you would have taken it.
I hope you get run over by a reindeer...
Sin-fucking-cerely,
Hateful Tax Payer
Krystal was horrified that her baby was violated in such a way. Those are just tiny tears. Pooooooor baby!!
