I have so been attending a trial here in the last two days; very interesting the jury trials. As we know, it is our civic duty to provide jury service to the county in which you reside. It is part of the great make up of our fabulous judicial system. What is also very fabulous is that it doesn’t exclude anyone…including the semi-famous!
Do you want to take a gander at who was in the jury? Anyone, anyone? No, not you, I already told you, someone that doesn’t know…yes, YOU. No, I am sorry, your momma was not in the jury, but close…it was the one and only Paula Deen!
Considering she is a resident of Chatham County, I guess it isn’t too much of a surprise that she might be called for jury duty.
Mostly the shock was from me. I came into the Court unaware that she was in my presence and upon recognizing the fact, immediately went into fear that she recognized me from this.
Though we met eyes and she turned to smile at me, I think my secret is safe. That is, of course, until she Googles “Paula Deen Jury Duty” and then I am fucked.
While I was sitting in Court I texted Larkin and Debbie and told them that Hey Ya’ll Paula Deen was there…their responses?
“Get Biscuits” and “Get Mac and Cheese”
SO yes, I sat in Court for two days and stared at this lady and wondered many a wondrous thoughts:
Does she have Rachel Ray’s number?
I wonder if she will bring mac and cheese tomorrow for all of us to try?
I wonder if I called the news if paparazzi would arrive?
I wonder how many people would give their left nut to be this close to Paul Deen?
I wonder if she says, “Hey Ya’ll, It’s ME” in her head?
I wonder if I can sell that piece of paper she is doodling on, on eBay?
Wow, she has really lost a lot of weight.
They sure make her look different on TV.
No, really, I wonder if she will give me Rachel’s number? Me and Rachel need to speak. I need to tell her that I watch her show just because I think she is hot and not because I like to cook. I don’t even go to the kitchen unless it is to get a beer or make some Kraft mac & cheese.
How ironic is it that I JUST wrote an entire blog about this lady and she serves on the jury in OUR trial, out of ALL the trials on ALL of the days with ALL of the various attorneys and she is picked to be in our jury. Ironic I say.
Anyway, I did manage to get a picture of the back of her head. The best I could do was with my camera phone. Camera phones are so on my top 10 list of best inventions in the world. Wish it was a clearer photograph…and better yet I wish I could have posed with her for one, but alas, Court rules prevent me from conversing with the jury members. Stupid rules. Anyway, I have yet to find the gadget that allows me to plug up my phone to the computer to get the pictures off if it...so the pic will have to wait. (I am too cheap to subscribe to the photo sharing shit)
Well that is pretty much the most excitement I have had in two days.
We did pay for a 24 pack of Miller Lite and a pack of cigs with dimes and quarters last night. That was fun! For the record, it takes approximately 10 minutes to count out $22 worth of quarters and dimes at the liquor store counter. We are so awesomely ghetto!
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