Dream

OK, the Office Mate told me I should blog about this...

I had a dream last night about this guy and he was some kind of 'women's get to know yourself inside and out, be empowered to be a women' kind of motivational character in my dream. Please note, he was in normal clothes and it actually took me until I was in the shower this morning to realize who it was in my dream. I kept thinking, after I woke up, "That guy in my dream seems SO familiar, WHO was that?!?"

Anyway, from what I can remember, there is some kind of workshop you go to. It started out with my back turned to the guy and he then asks me to sit in this chair and he says, "OK, don't make fun of my bitch smell" and then takes his thumbs and smooths out my eyebrows and traces my face with his thumbs, which, by the way, in my dream, smelled like his balls. APPARENTLY, a "bitch smell" is the smell you have on your hands after you have explored your neither regions.

Don't fucking ask me! I am just the dreamer here people. I can't help what happens in my mind.

Anyway, the next thing we do is pick out a number that empowers us (??) and then we walk outside and everywhere we find this number of ours we have to touch it with our bitch smell. Let it be known that I was in complete observance of this and NOT a participator. The guy's number was 6 by the way.

At some point in our adventures we run into this guy's wife, who is gorgeous, and it completely throws me off cause I am under the impression that this "Life Coach" is gay as Elton John circa 1970 shopping at Barneys.

So we go back to the "workshop" and I am instructed to have an orgasm. I deny this instruction as I am completely mortified by this whole experience. The next thing I know (I have my back to this dude) my chair starts shaking and I am like, "Whoever is shaking my chair, please stop." And then, I realize that this dude is choking his chicken and I think to myself, "Wow, does he have to do that in every session he gives throughout the day?"

THANKFULLY the dream ends here...I feel certain I ran out of the place screaming.

Thoughts:

The neighbor upstairs is an obvious porn addict.

I am OK with you getting your freak on every now and then, totally understandable. Me, personally, I don't have the time. Sometimes I don't even have time to eat, much less go out and buy or rent a flick, sit down, watch, get bored and then figure out that I really do have ADD cause I am really not paying attention to this shit, and think about how much of a whore that girl is looking like and wondering if these people have actual sex lives and why is that guy so ugly...oh wait, he has a big penis, that is how he got on this flick...see my mind it wonders, so again, I just don't have the time, patience or attention span for porn.

Anyway, upstairs neighbor, Steve, his is on, in surround sound, very loudly, at all hours of the day. I wake up and leave for work I hear: "Ahhhh, ahhhh, ohhhh, yeahhhh, yessss, ohhhh yeaaahhhh" and get home from work I hear: "Ohhh give it to me, yesss, ohhhh, I like that, yesssss". I go to bed and I very clearly hear (because his TV w/ surround sound that is very loud is right above my bedroom): (male voice) "Ohh, you like that [spank sound]" (female voice) "Yesssss sir, oh yesss" and then I put my earplugs in and go to bed while trying not to think about how NASTY the situation just a few feet above my head is. Thank GOD for vaulted ceilings, at least I have a good 10 feet of space between me and spunk master.

That being said, this could have been what prompted my bitch smell dream. Who knows. OH and also the fact that I did go and look at Peter Pan's webpage the other day. It seems he is getting married.