Hello New Decade!!!

I am quite late on this post, but last Saturday was my 30th year of celebrating the extraction of my not so tiny 8lb 7oz body from my mother's birth canal.

I have been celebrating all month, and celebrated particularly hard on Friday the 23rd. I am sure I have mentioned it before, but my firm is incredibly good to me when it comes to supplying great beer and a good time! We killed about four cases of beer, AT THE FIRM, before deciding we should go and sing some karaoke. Needless to say, the ACTUAL day of my birth was greeted with a medium to hellabig hangover.

My plan for the day was to go watch one of our attorney's, who is in a band, play with his band down at one of the squares. It was not to take place until 4:00pm, which gave me plenty of time to ATTEMPT to work through the night before's transgressions.

In an effort to assist me in this endeavor, I consulted my friend Miller Lite, three of the 16oz variety. He assisted me in the best way he could, but I was still feeling as though I was in serious need of a couch. The band was WONDERFUL though!

Unbeknownst to me, a slurry of friends had gathered, across the street, at my favorite Mexican restaurant, where they surprised me with a magnificent 30th birthday party!! I must say, I do heart my friends so!

I made it till about 12:00am and then my body gave out. Of course, I powered through two gigantic beers at the restaurant, a couple more smaller Dos Equis and who knows how many shots and various other beers when we went to The Bar Bar afterwards.

I have no remembrance of getting home and THAT is how you bring in your 30th year!

Thanks guys! XOXO!!

(please keep in mind that I had no idea we were going out, so I am in NO way dressed appropriately and in addition to that...it started to rain, so we are soaked when we first arrived)

The most magnificent rice krispie mustache and rice krispie cake you have ever seen...the middle layer of the rice krispie cake was Nutella. RIGHT?! GET THE FUCK OUT! How tasty is THAT! Thanks so much Michelle, Whitney and KK!

Krystal was quite pleased with the amount of bling I was required to put on.

Our friend Terri and Kristin

Michelle

Dave, Nelli and Michelle

Larkin and Whitney

LOL! I love that girl...

Mexican birthday requirement...the hat...

...and the tequila shot...

...which I do not care for tequila...

My boss Joe and Larkin

Can one really carry on a serious conversation in a hat like that?

It appears I attempted to...

He Has Arivin!

My precious little nephew William is here!!! Poor thing has, what I shall call pelvic face,(red ring around his face)(so much better than vagina face) from sitting down in that birth canal for so long.

He was delivered by c-section after his mother sat in labor for over 24 hours. I am sure both are equally as happy for this to be over and done with!

8lb 7oz and apparently GIGANTIC...look how LONG he is!!!!!!

Work Ride

(We are still waiting on that baby to be born...I was under the impression that once they broke your water they didn't let you sit for very long...but it has been over 24 hours now...I am told he will be here by 12:00 today though)

So I was driving to work this morning and in a rare moment, actually paid attention to one of the billboards...glad I did:

If you can't read it:

"To my husband Paul Pusha I miss you so much! I luv u! I'm sorry. Please forgive me? Luv your wife Ericka Pusha."

I don't know what Ericka did...other than it is obvious her parents didn't love her enough to spell Erica right, unless YOUR name is Ericka, and then I am TOTALLY just kidding...probably.

That billboard borders Hunter Army Base, so if I had to guess, she cheated on her husband while he was deployed. OR maybe she just didn't get him that beer fast enough...

Speaking of...not beer...speaking of military..."Don't Ask, Don't Tell" officially went bye bye today. Isn't that interesting! I guess people are going to have to come up with another excuse to get out of the military now!

Icky Day!

At this current moment my sister in law, Ana, is at 4cm and still has a smile on her face...today is the day little William comes into the world. She is very aware that 4cm ain't nothing...so smile while you can, girl!

Good luck, Ana! Can't wait to be an Aunt for the very first time! (And I am sure you are pretty excited about being a first time Mom!)

Hopefully I will be given the clear to head up there (three hours away) today, but if not, then tomorrow. I am pretty certain I will take 500,000,000,000.0000000003245876523668774 pictures and will be sharing them with you all!

Almost Done!

My brother's baby boy, William, aka Icky, is almost done cooking! Due date is in three weeks, but since he is almost at 8lbs already, I see him coming a bit sooner!

I know Ana is ready!!

Journey: Part III

We leave New Jersey and make the semi-short drive to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania where we get to our hotel. The Travel Lodge of Gettysburg. I have never stayed at a Travel Lodge, but this place was pretty nice!

Our hotel room was right next to the lobby, so it was easy to get breakfast, ice and also extend our stay another night. Ah, did I mention that hurricane was right on our ass? It was. By the time we got to Gettysburg they were evacuating New York, Washington D.C. and the Jersey Shore. Our trip was supposed to end in Washington D.C., but since we didn't want to float or get blown away, we decided Gettysburg would be our final stop.

Good decision too!

What a great town! We met nice people, smoked a cigar, drank 1.2 bazillion beers (fantastic front porch action at the hotel) and watched the hurricane come and go! AND, we had wonderful tours! They have a CD that you can buy at the visitors center for around $20.00, you pop it in your CD player in your car and it tells you exactly where to drive and what happened at each battlefield and/or place you were at. Takes about 3 hours to finish the tour. Totally worth it!

On our last night there we decided to walk over to one of the battlefields that was directly across from our hotel. Image, please:

That black line represents the path we took. Even though you can't tell from the picture, the landscape is SUPER hilly.

Did I mention it was about midnight when we did this? And that we had just put the finishing touches on a 30 pack of Miller Lite, coupled with a couple shots from the bar a little ways down the road?

So we decided that it would be a great time to take pictures...so the four of us just started walking in the pitch black taking pictures every few seconds. Near the end of our adventure and somewhere in the middle of all that scribble up there in that picture, I snapped this shot (click to enlarge):

It might be difficult to see on the computer screen, but it was clear as day on my camera screen, so I will make it clearer for you by changing the contrast of the photo:

Oh yeah. Crazy shit.

I have decided to name him General Chas, as it appeared every other person that fought in the Civil War was named Chas.

Here are some other non-ghost pictures from Gettysburg:

This cannon is looking down on the battlefield where I got the ghost picture. Pretty much pointing exactly where I took the picture down in the valley area.

Watching the hurricane come in

Jimmy

Day after the hurricane came by...BEAUTIFUL!

Me and Krystal...bad lighting!

Theresa

My hat is on backwards because there were still 60mph gusts of wind coming through from the hurricane. I almost lost my hat multiple times that day!

Bullet hole in a rock...bullet still in there

Pennsylvania Civil War Memorial...where half the people on the plates that surround the monument are named Chas.

Oddities

I think we have all seen those odd auto fill in things on Google...for instance...I just did one:

Why can't I own a Canadian?!? Well, I can tell you! TAXES! You think the "free" healthcare doesn't come with a price! I tell ya, it does! Could you imagine the taxes to OWN a Canadian.

As far as why you can't get wet...well, turn on the hose, silly.

All that was to bring us to MY blog keywords. Here are the popular ones of the day:

CLEARLY Bengal kitties are the cutest thing that ever existed! BUT!! My daughter has a dick?!? TWICE????! Is there some kind of epidemic I need to know about? Thank goodness someone was being sensible out there and Googled "squirrel poop".

Journey Continuation

I forgot to mention yesterday, but it is my muthafucking birthday MONTH! This year it is the big three ohhhhhhh and I am totally looking forward to doing what I did for my two nine and two eight and two seven...get drunk and screw! Wait, no, it was get drunk and SING! Beer, karaoke, strippers, strippers that are singing karaoke! That would be awesome. So, in celebration of my birthday month, I encourage you to have a drink for me! :)

The morning after our fabulous visit in Coventry, Rhode Island we headed the four or so hours to Jackson, New Jersey. Home of Six Flags of New Jersey. I must preface this by saying that all of my travel companions, Krystal included, are approximately 4-5 years younger than myself. I never thought that the age difference would get in the way, but I tell you, I have now experienced it. Roller Coasters. I have never been a HUGE fan, but enjoyed many a day in my youth at amusement parks. Upon entering this amusement park, I had quickly determined, from the parking lot, which rides I would NOT be partaking in.

This one was at the top of the list:

I give a hearty HELL. TO. THE. NAW.

As an aside, I recommend getting the Flash Passes. WAY better than waiting in line. You just zip right to the front and hop on, all while giving those suckers in line a shit eatin grin. Good times.

So we meet up with Jimmy and Theresa. Theresa is a friend of Krystal's from high school...Jimmy is Theresa's husband. We went to their wedding a hot minute ago...

(Have I mentioned the amazing ta-ta's my girl has?!)

OK, all caught up?

So, we meet up with Jimmy and Theresa and hop on our first ride, The Green Lantern. This is a stand up roller coaster. This coaster is also incredibly LONG. The first minute I was OK, it was the last 30 seconds that I was really wanting the ride to be over. It was just an over all painful experience. What ever happened to that funny feeling in your tummy being FUN? It HURT! So, that was the ONLY ride I rode. Well, I rode The Mine Train. It is a kids ride and will also beat the shit out of you. SO, in sum up, future Jess will drink the beer and eat the horribly good foods when visiting amusement parks.

BUT! There is MORE!

There is a drive thru Safari!! What?!? GET OUT! RIGHT!!! You get to drive your own car through a series of areas where there are all kinds of bad ass, fun, awesome creatureness!

Look to the back...I am pretty sure those two 'roos in the back are getting their freak on. Blow jobs while kids are around! Shameful!

BABY ZEBRA!! SO CUTE!!

We finished up the day at Six Flags around 8:00, exhausted from a day of driving, riding and walking. We went out in a nearby town for a few beverages and then laid it on down to rest around 12:00am in order to prepare for our drive to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania the next day.