Monday, April 4, 2011

Looking Forward to May

We are still waiting on paperwork from the bank, but the offer we made has been accepted! I will feel better about things once we make it OFFICIAL, on paper, with earnest money down, but as of this moment, things are feeling pretty good!

We were reminded this weekend of how nice it is going to be to have our own house. The next door neighbors decided to hire a BAND…a FUCKING BAND…to play at 11:00pm-12:00am on Friday night. WOW.

By the end of last week all I wanted to do was go to bed. Friday night seemed like a lovely time to do that since I already had plans to go to a Bachelorette party on Saturday night. I was peacefully watching TV when BLAM, sounds of amplifiers turning on, drums start going, lead guitar, bass guitar and a SCREAMING singer. Krystal and I just looked at each other and said, “HELL NO!!”

Let me give you a visual.


On the left you have our house…our door is on the right; we live in the lower level. The arrow shows the approximate 3 foot gap between houses. On the right you have the geniuses who hired a band to play from 11:00pm-12:00am in a RESIDENTIAL AREA. You can see how close the houses are. It was as if we were standing in their living room.

Krystal headed over, banged on the door for about five minutes and FINALLY someone came to the door and wanted to “know what the problem was”.

Well, ya see, the problem is THIS ISN’T FUCKING FRAT ROW!!

She gave some kind of sob story that she had already paid the band and blah blah blah…Krystal came over to tell me, the music stopped but THEN, she came over to knock on the door…just to see if maybe they could play for like, you know, 30 minutes.

Like, no.

Krystal struck up some bargain that maybe if they moved their shit into another room (my suggestion was move your shit to the next county) then MAYBE, if it wasn’t horribly loud, then they could play for 30 minutes, but to please come back over after they started playing, stand in our house and listen to what we have to listen to.

When Krystal came back to tell me this grand plan, and chastising her for being too nice to these nimrods, I went to sit in the living room to wait for Miss. Fucktard to return.

Upon her return, visualize, me, hair affray, wearing a worn out t-shirt, leopard silk pants and my house coat which is decorated in Christmas trees, she seemed stunned and said, “Well, you aren’t who I was talking to!” I said, “No, I am the one who is trying to sleep.” She then proceeded to tell me that it was just too much to move around tonight, so she had to cancel the whole gig (my eyes were welling up, let me tell ya) and wondered if maybe they could play NEXT weekend between 11:00pm and 12:00am. I kindly (gritted teeth) let her know that despite her schedule, most people prefer not to hear a band playing in through their bedroom window at 11:00pm-12:00am. She continued on with her sob story and I just stopped her and this ensued:

“Look, what time do you go to work in the mornings?”

“Oh, I don’t work, but I have classes at 8:00am”

“OK, well, I work, my Mom and Dad don’t pay my rent, I do, and how I do that is by working 40 – 55 hours in a week and when I want to sleep, that is damn well what I intend on doing. What if I did decided to hire a band on the night you were studying for finals?!?”

“Well, we are pretty loud during finals too”

(REALLY GRITTING MY TEETH)

“You don’t fucking say!!”

I think I may have scared her a little bit. I was pretty darn irritable wondering how the fuckinghell someone thinks it is OK to hire a band for a HOUSE. Then I asked her how old she was. Twenty was the answer. Then my tiny little mind went back a decade ago and I thought about what I was doing…

OH! I WAS BUYING MY OWN HOUSE GAHDAMN IT!

So then I had to realize that not everyone bought a house at 20 nor waited until they had actual common sense when they started partying. I mean, you people know I LOVE TO PARTY! But the difference is that when you start partying late in life, you have that stupid responsibility thing and it prevents you from hiring bands to play in your house. Plus, the acoustics are terrible, which I am assuming you learn later in life as well.

Anyway, we agreed that she and her hired band could probably get away with playing in the middle of the day…say like at 4:00pm. And indeed, when I came home from working on Saturday (I was making some extra doing a job on the side…I am gangsta like that) the music was in full swing.

Since we couldn’t actually hear each other INSIDE our house, Krystal and I decided to go outside and sit on the porch to listen to that thing they called “music”. Not too long after we got out there, the neighbor who lives cattycorner to us came strolling up with his little white dog (yes, he is gay and VERY proud of it) stopped in front of the offending house and with a look of disgust on his face, whipped out his cell phone and called the cops.

It just made me giggle to no end. Thankfully the cop that responded was our dear friend Barry and another equally as awesome cop whose name was…wait for it, Officer Friend. Oh, I had a good time with that one!

The music ceased, we chatted with Barry and Officer Friend for a while, drank a few more beers and then headed downtown where I am pretty sure we caused enough ruckus for one weekend! I am not sure though, we will have to wait for the Facebook photos to be uploaded. :)
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