Approximately 9 years ago this young doe struck out on her own to the next town over and into a small garage apartment that cost me $350 a month. It was a great little place to start out independently. I had just obtained work at a law firm and thought I was rolling in the cash-ola at $20k a year. Within a year I was laid off from said law firm job, got another job, bought a house and entered into a long term relationship, including engagement, with someone whom my parents did not approve. Our relationship was fun, eventful and allowed me to travel and do things that I probably would not have been able to do on my own at such a young age. I learned to ride a motorcycle. I enjoyed the night life. (he was a DJ at a club) I probably had some of the best late teen, early 20’s that anyone could ask for.
About two years ago, I left that relationship (lasted 6 years), came to grips with the fact that I was gay, entered into a new relationship with a beautiful, wonderful, loving, caring, (did I mention beautiful) girl, moved 165 miles from my home, and was hired on at a WONDERFUL law firm here in Savannah.
In the two years I have been with Sweet Thang I have been reluctant to discuss my sexuality with my parents and family. No matter how old you get I think the thought of disappointing your parents, weighs heavily on your heart. I am not disappointed in myself, but fear that my parents, especially my Father, have had dreams for me that are going to drastically change.
I feel confident that my Parents know my relationship status, Sweet Thang has been to every Thanksgiving, birthday, Christmas, family reunion, and any event in between, for two years now, but my family is good about making excuses for her presence. (her family lives up North, she is my roommate, she didn’t want to be alone…)
In one week my family (parents and two brothers) are coming to see me in Savannah. The time has finally come for THE TALK. Because I live so far away I have not had to hide the fact that we have shared one bedroom in all three houses we have lived in since my time here. There was the one time that Mom and Brother came to visit when we lived in a one bedroom, but for some reason it was her understanding that we shared a bed to save money because we couldn’t afford a two bedroom. Interesting conclusion.
In any case, I now have to have this conversation that I have been dreading. It isn’t so much that it is going to be a surprise (at least I hope it isn’t) it is just actually putting it into words makes it real for everyone. I don’t want to shatter the dreams of weddings and babies (not that none of those will happen, they will, just not the traditional way) and I certainly don’t want to be the reason for heartache.
If it was up to me I would still be putting this off in the future somewhere. In the past it was because I wanted to wait till my brothers grew up. They are 18 and 21 now. If it wasn’t the brother excuse it was that I wanted to make sure that this relationship I am in is the real deal. We are going on three years now.
The one thing I did want to do was talk about this in person, but since they are going to pick up my brother in New Jersey (he just graduated from Coast Guard boot camp, I am SO PROUD OF HIM) this weekend and then going back home, and then heading down here, I will only be able to do this over the phone.
Before I actually fall asleep at night I run scenario after scenario over and over in my head trying to figure out the best way to talk about this. These are some of the things I know I am going to say:
I just wanted to talk to you guys before you came down. I don’t think this will be a huge shock, but Krystal and I have been in a relationship for over two years now. I am telling you this so that when you come and look at the house you don’t wonder why we are sharing one bedroom in a three bedroom house. If you have any questions, PLEASE ask me and I will do my best to answer them. If you need any information, I have LOTS of books and even a DVD that you can watch. I also understand that I have had over 10 years to deal with my feelings and thoughts on the matter and it would be unfair for me to expect you to be immediately OK with everything, but I hope you will try.
So that is about as far as I have gotten. No doubt it will never come out that great, but I want to try and get those few things said.
Please send out prayers, good ju-ju, happy thoughts, whatever you believe in, send it my way. The 10 beers I drank last night didn’t give me enough courage to call them, so I am thinking another method is necessary.
|
|
|
|
|
