Approximately 9 years ago this young doe struck out on her own to the next town over and into a small garage apartment that cost me $350 a month. It was a great little place to start out independently. I had just obtained work at a law firm and thought I was rolling in the cash-ola at $20k a year. Within a year I was laid off from said law firm job, got another job, bought a house and entered into a long term relationship, including engagement, with someone whom my parents did not approve. Our relationship was fun, eventful and allowed me to travel and do things that I probably would not have been able to do on my own at such a young age. I learned to ride a motorcycle. I enjoyed the night life. (he was a DJ at a club) I probably had some of the best late teen, early 20’s that anyone could ask for.
About two years ago, I left that relationship (lasted 6 years), came to grips with the fact that I was gay, entered into a new relationship with a beautiful, wonderful, loving, caring, (did I mention beautiful) girl, moved 165 miles from my home, and was hired on at a WONDERFUL law firm here in Savannah.
In the two years I have been with Sweet Thang I have been reluctant to discuss my sexuality with my parents and family. No matter how old you get I think the thought of disappointing your parents, weighs heavily on your heart. I am not disappointed in myself, but fear that my parents, especially my Father, have had dreams for me that are going to drastically change.
I feel confident that my Parents know my relationship status, Sweet Thang has been to every Thanksgiving, birthday, Christmas, family reunion, and any event in between, for two years now, but my family is good about making excuses for her presence. (her family lives up North, she is my roommate, she didn’t want to be alone…)
In one week my family (parents and two brothers) are coming to see me in Savannah. The time has finally come for THE TALK. Because I live so far away I have not had to hide the fact that we have shared one bedroom in all three houses we have lived in since my time here. There was the one time that Mom and Brother came to visit when we lived in a one bedroom, but for some reason it was her understanding that we shared a bed to save money because we couldn’t afford a two bedroom. Interesting conclusion.
In any case, I now have to have this conversation that I have been dreading. It isn’t so much that it is going to be a surprise (at least I hope it isn’t) it is just actually putting it into words makes it real for everyone. I don’t want to shatter the dreams of weddings and babies (not that none of those will happen, they will, just not the traditional way) and I certainly don’t want to be the reason for heartache.
If it was up to me I would still be putting this off in the future somewhere. In the past it was because I wanted to wait till my brothers grew up. They are 18 and 21 now. If it wasn’t the brother excuse it was that I wanted to make sure that this relationship I am in is the real deal. We are going on three years now.
The one thing I did want to do was talk about this in person, but since they are going to pick up my brother in New Jersey (he just graduated from Coast Guard boot camp, I am SO PROUD OF HIM) this weekend and then going back home, and then heading down here, I will only be able to do this over the phone.
Before I actually fall asleep at night I run scenario after scenario over and over in my head trying to figure out the best way to talk about this. These are some of the things I know I am going to say:
I just wanted to talk to you guys before you came down. I don’t think this will be a huge shock, but Krystal and I have been in a relationship for over two years now. I am telling you this so that when you come and look at the house you don’t wonder why we are sharing one bedroom in a three bedroom house. If you have any questions, PLEASE ask me and I will do my best to answer them. If you need any information, I have LOTS of books and even a DVD that you can watch. I also understand that I have had over 10 years to deal with my feelings and thoughts on the matter and it would be unfair for me to expect you to be immediately OK with everything, but I hope you will try.
So that is about as far as I have gotten. No doubt it will never come out that great, but I want to try and get those few things said.
Please send out prayers, good ju-ju, happy thoughts, whatever you believe in, send it my way. The 10 beers I drank last night didn’t give me enough courage to call them, so I am thinking another method is necessary.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Drinking. The Liquid Diet That Is Fun!
Deb brought up an interesting topic in the previous post's comments about why we like to eat greasy foods after a wonderful night out drinking. In the past this question has come up among our friends…usually while sitting at the Waffle House waiting for our plate of grease to come up.
Doing some hard hitting, life changing reporting, CBS’s expert, Dr. Senay, suggests eating greasy foods BEFORE you begin drinking, as the grease lines your stomach. Previous to this statement, he suggests not eating greasy food at all because it is bad for you, but really, who cares?
The key is to not drink on an empty stomach. Contrary to popular opinion, eating will not prevent you from getting drunk, the food and the alcohol are all in the same area, but as the food is digested and absorbed, so is the alcohol. It may take longer, but you are still consuming the same amount of alcohol. For me, eating then drinking just makes me feel full and I can’t drink as much. Bummer. So I do it the bad way and just drink on an empty stomach…if I continue such ignorant practices, I have stomach ulcers and lovely things of that nature to look forward too!
Now that we are on the topic of alcohol fact and fiction, let’s post some of the most common misnomers.
MYTH: Alcohol gives you energy.
FACT: Actually, it’s the opposite. Alcohol is a drug. It’s a depressant and slows down your ability to think, speak and move. Even at low levels, it affects your perception, coordination and judgment, long before any physical signs of impairment occur.
MYTH: Switching between beer, wine and spirits will affect you more than sticking to one type of alcohol.
FACT: Wrong. Your blood alcohol concentration or BAC – the percentage of alcohol in your blood – is what counts, not the beverages consumed. Alcohol is alcohol.
MYTH: A cold shower and a cup of coffee are good ways to sober up.
FACT: Although they may make you feel clean and awake, nothing sobers you up but time. Coffee is a stimulant – it’ll keep you awake but won’t sober you up.
MYTH: A "beer belly" is caused by drinking beer.
FACT: A "beer belly" is caused by eating too much food. No beer or other alcohol beverage is necessary. A study published in 2003 by the Journal of Nutrition looked at the bellies of beer drinkers, wine drinkers, spirit drinkers, and no drinkers. They measured the body-mass index (BMI) and the abdominal height of each subject. The abdominal height is the distance from your spine to the top of your abdomen (how far your tummy sticks out). The results showed beer drinkers had no more body fat than non drinkers on average. Beers range between 100 and 200 calories. You need 3500 calories to create a pound of fat. Of course beer can only add to your caloric intake, but lifestyle and genetics most likely play a bigger part in your tummy fat.
MYTH:Drinking alcohol causes weight gain.
FACT: This is a very commonly believed myth, even among medical professionals, because alcohol has caloric value. However, extensive research around the world has found alcohol consumption be does not cause weight gain in men and is often associated with a small weight loss in women.
MYTH: Beer before liquor, never been sicker - liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
FACT:The rate of consumption determines if you get sick. The mix or order has no influence on your ability to “hold your liquor”.
On that last note though, I do have theory about how this came about. When I drink beer I pretty much turn it up. I hate warm beer, so my goal is to finish it before that happens.
SO, when switching from beer to liquor one may continue to drink said drink in the same fashion the previous beer(s) were consumed. Since liquor contains a higher percentage of alcohol than previously consumed beer(s) one does not tend to wait for said higher alcohol percentage to take effect, therefore commencing stomach rejection which leads to a very, very dissatisfying morning experience.
I will be sure to do more research on the subject though.
Doing some hard hitting, life changing reporting, CBS’s expert, Dr. Senay, suggests eating greasy foods BEFORE you begin drinking, as the grease lines your stomach. Previous to this statement, he suggests not eating greasy food at all because it is bad for you, but really, who cares?
The key is to not drink on an empty stomach. Contrary to popular opinion, eating will not prevent you from getting drunk, the food and the alcohol are all in the same area, but as the food is digested and absorbed, so is the alcohol. It may take longer, but you are still consuming the same amount of alcohol. For me, eating then drinking just makes me feel full and I can’t drink as much. Bummer. So I do it the bad way and just drink on an empty stomach…if I continue such ignorant practices, I have stomach ulcers and lovely things of that nature to look forward too!
Now that we are on the topic of alcohol fact and fiction, let’s post some of the most common misnomers.
MYTH: Alcohol gives you energy.
FACT: Actually, it’s the opposite. Alcohol is a drug. It’s a depressant and slows down your ability to think, speak and move. Even at low levels, it affects your perception, coordination and judgment, long before any physical signs of impairment occur.
MYTH: Switching between beer, wine and spirits will affect you more than sticking to one type of alcohol.
FACT: Wrong. Your blood alcohol concentration or BAC – the percentage of alcohol in your blood – is what counts, not the beverages consumed. Alcohol is alcohol.
MYTH: A cold shower and a cup of coffee are good ways to sober up.
FACT: Although they may make you feel clean and awake, nothing sobers you up but time. Coffee is a stimulant – it’ll keep you awake but won’t sober you up.
MYTH: A "beer belly" is caused by drinking beer.
FACT: A "beer belly" is caused by eating too much food. No beer or other alcohol beverage is necessary. A study published in 2003 by the Journal of Nutrition looked at the bellies of beer drinkers, wine drinkers, spirit drinkers, and no drinkers. They measured the body-mass index (BMI) and the abdominal height of each subject. The abdominal height is the distance from your spine to the top of your abdomen (how far your tummy sticks out). The results showed beer drinkers had no more body fat than non drinkers on average. Beers range between 100 and 200 calories. You need 3500 calories to create a pound of fat. Of course beer can only add to your caloric intake, but lifestyle and genetics most likely play a bigger part in your tummy fat.
MYTH:Drinking alcohol causes weight gain.
FACT: This is a very commonly believed myth, even among medical professionals, because alcohol has caloric value. However, extensive research around the world has found alcohol consumption be does not cause weight gain in men and is often associated with a small weight loss in women.
MYTH: Beer before liquor, never been sicker - liquor before beer, you're in the clear.
FACT:The rate of consumption determines if you get sick. The mix or order has no influence on your ability to “hold your liquor”.
On that last note though, I do have theory about how this came about. When I drink beer I pretty much turn it up. I hate warm beer, so my goal is to finish it before that happens.
SO, when switching from beer to liquor one may continue to drink said drink in the same fashion the previous beer(s) were consumed. Since liquor contains a higher percentage of alcohol than previously consumed beer(s) one does not tend to wait for said higher alcohol percentage to take effect, therefore commencing stomach rejection which leads to a very, very dissatisfying morning experience.
I will be sure to do more research on the subject though.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
This Was Actually Friday...
How do I do it? How does this happen to me?
Oh wait. I remember.
It started with "Hey! Do you want to join me and some friends at Hangfire?"
Me: OMG! I totally do! I can only stay for a few beers though.
Next thing you know, I have had 5 Stellas and a huge slice of pizza from Sweet Melissa's (the pizza joint next door to Hang Fire)
THEN, someone is all like "Oh let's go to Blaine's Back Door for karaoke!" (that someone was ME) OF COURSE they had all you can drink draft for $10! Really, how can you pass that up?!?
Not to mention to FANTASTIC karaoke selection and a pool table! Strangely, gay men do not like playing pool, so the pool table was ours all night! (We lacked any gay men, just lesbians and that crazy heterosexual couple, Larkin and Paul)
Needless to say I was still a little off balance yesterday morning when I woke up. Ahhh, the joys of youth!
My sluggishness was soon remedied with a WONDERFUL breakfast sandwich from the deli down the street. Ohhhhh it was greasy goodness! Once that was in I was good to go!
I went to Wal-Mart with The Office Mate at lunch yesterday and you would not BELIEVE what we saw!!! The mother truckin Weinermobile!!! TWO OF THEM! One was a mini weiner on a Mini Cooper and the other one just a normal size weiner, as far as Weinermobiles go!
Unfortunately, all I got was this picture to show for it.
I wouldn't get out of the car to stand in the middle of traffic at Wal-Mart to take a normal picture.
Seeing that there Weinermobile got me asking some questions though. How does one get the job of driving the Weinermobile? Do you have to get a special license to drive a hot dog? What kind of car is that hot dog made out of? How much fun would it be to pull up at your friends house in a giant weiner?
I did a little research and found some answers:
The drivers are mostly college graduates, some with degrees in advertising, others just have smashing personalities and the company hired them. Kraft states that "a big smile, great people skills, a colossal sense of humor, and a college degree" are required.
The drivers of the Weinermobile are called Hotdoggers.
There are up to six Weinermobiles on the road at any given time. (I personally saw the one names Bolonea and that Mini Cooper one today)
The bigger ones are built on a GMC chassis.
The Weinermobile's horn plays the Oscar Mayer Weiner song, complete with lyrics in 21 different genres from Cajun to Rap to Bossa Nova.
It seems that you just have to have a regular drivers license to drive it.
It would be VERY FUN to drive up to your friends house in one of those weiners!
Oh wait. I remember.
It started with "Hey! Do you want to join me and some friends at Hangfire?"
Me: OMG! I totally do! I can only stay for a few beers though.
Next thing you know, I have had 5 Stellas and a huge slice of pizza from Sweet Melissa's (the pizza joint next door to Hang Fire)
THEN, someone is all like "Oh let's go to Blaine's Back Door for karaoke!" (that someone was ME) OF COURSE they had all you can drink draft for $10! Really, how can you pass that up?!?
Not to mention to FANTASTIC karaoke selection and a pool table! Strangely, gay men do not like playing pool, so the pool table was ours all night! (We lacked any gay men, just lesbians and that crazy heterosexual couple, Larkin and Paul)
Needless to say I was still a little off balance yesterday morning when I woke up. Ahhh, the joys of youth!
My sluggishness was soon remedied with a WONDERFUL breakfast sandwich from the deli down the street. Ohhhhh it was greasy goodness! Once that was in I was good to go!
I went to Wal-Mart with The Office Mate at lunch yesterday and you would not BELIEVE what we saw!!! The mother truckin Weinermobile!!! TWO OF THEM! One was a mini weiner on a Mini Cooper and the other one just a normal size weiner, as far as Weinermobiles go!
Unfortunately, all I got was this picture to show for it.
I wouldn't get out of the car to stand in the middle of traffic at Wal-Mart to take a normal picture.
Seeing that there Weinermobile got me asking some questions though. How does one get the job of driving the Weinermobile? Do you have to get a special license to drive a hot dog? What kind of car is that hot dog made out of? How much fun would it be to pull up at your friends house in a giant weiner?
I did a little research and found some answers:
The drivers are mostly college graduates, some with degrees in advertising, others just have smashing personalities and the company hired them. Kraft states that "a big smile, great people skills, a colossal sense of humor, and a college degree" are required.
The drivers of the Weinermobile are called Hotdoggers.
There are up to six Weinermobiles on the road at any given time. (I personally saw the one names Bolonea and that Mini Cooper one today)
The bigger ones are built on a GMC chassis.
The Weinermobile's horn plays the Oscar Mayer Weiner song, complete with lyrics in 21 different genres from Cajun to Rap to Bossa Nova.
It seems that you just have to have a regular drivers license to drive it.
It would be VERY FUN to drive up to your friends house in one of those weiners!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Are YOU rich?
I have spent most of my day today trying to find myself missing money.
I know this is just plain silly because I never have any money and I certainly wouldn't have forgotten if someone owed me some money. That's right Landlords of mine on 112 Holts Ave...I haven't forgotten that you never gave me back my security deposit. You owe me $50.
That is a laugh...a security deposit of $50. That was BACK IN THE DAY! These days I am spending upwards of $1200 for a security deposit on top of pet deposits and every other fucking thing they want deposits.
Anyway, I did get around to checking my family for hidden riches. Turns out my Grandfather on my Father's side has some monies. My Grandfather on my Mother's side, his Mom (my Great Grandmother) has some monies unclaimed, an Aunt and an Uncle on Dad's side (His brother and wife) AND my friend Larkin and roommate Bobby both have claims! (Larkin has two, Bobby has three)
THEN there is an attorney in the office that has some monies AS WELL as my bosses Dad, who is a doctor.
WTF.
All I have to say is FINDERS FEE.
I know this is just plain silly because I never have any money and I certainly wouldn't have forgotten if someone owed me some money. That's right Landlords of mine on 112 Holts Ave...I haven't forgotten that you never gave me back my security deposit. You owe me $50.
That is a laugh...a security deposit of $50. That was BACK IN THE DAY! These days I am spending upwards of $1200 for a security deposit on top of pet deposits and every other fucking thing they want deposits.
Anyway, I did get around to checking my family for hidden riches. Turns out my Grandfather on my Father's side has some monies. My Grandfather on my Mother's side, his Mom (my Great Grandmother) has some monies unclaimed, an Aunt and an Uncle on Dad's side (His brother and wife) AND my friend Larkin and roommate Bobby both have claims! (Larkin has two, Bobby has three)
THEN there is an attorney in the office that has some monies AS WELL as my bosses Dad, who is a doctor.
WTF.
All I have to say is FINDERS FEE.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Body Art
As a big fan of tattoos and "body art" (as they call it) in general, I was intrigued to find this bit of publishing. The book is about professionals who have tattoos. Doctors, lawyers...you know, the type of people that you would never THINK would have tattoos - thanks to the general opinion about tattoos and the people who get them. As this book shows, that opinion is changing and the stereotype is well on its way out the door.
I think it would be a GREAT coffee table book. If only we had a coffee table. Why DO they call it a coffee table anyway? They should call it a foot table, cause that is what most of us do with it!
My general rule for my tattoos (five now) is that they need to be in places where I can hide them as well as in places that will not expand. i.e. pregnancy, weight gain, loss
This leaves me slightly limited in my space, though I have tattoos covering my lower back - this area will expand, but hopefully not to the detriment of the tattoos. I have two tattoos between my shoulder blades and one on my ankle right below the malleolus, which I just call "that knobby bone on the inside of our ankle".
As for piercings...too much looks like too much. Unlike tattoos where many tattoos can come together to look really great. For instance, this guy, who apparently really loves him some Nintendo. Great color, good flow of characters. I would rate that pretty bad ass on my tattoo rating scale. The subject matter isn't for me, but the artist did a phenomenal job!
Piercings on the other hand...
CRAZY.
I myself have 10 piercings. This may sound kinky, but most of them are in expected areas. Two on each ear lobe. Two on my left ear cartilage. One belly button, one tongue. And one for each of the lovely lady lumps. I hope my Mother isn't reading this. :)
Back to the subject at hand though...I am at the later part of Generation X and with the last little bit of Gen X growing into their late 20's we are going to see an exponential increase in scaring from earlier piercings, particularly the eyebrow and lebret piercings (not labia as I initially typed...OMG.) I am really looking forward to seeing all those tramp stamps sag and the color fade in our tattoos. Though many will have regrets, most of us will be reminded of a great time in our lives. I know I will.
My motto has always been that I will never look any better than I do today. Nobody looks good with wrinkles...may as well put a splash of color in! (Hit me up in 20 years and I will be sure to put another pic up of what those back tattoos look like then! :)
I think it would be a GREAT coffee table book. If only we had a coffee table. Why DO they call it a coffee table anyway? They should call it a foot table, cause that is what most of us do with it!
My general rule for my tattoos (five now) is that they need to be in places where I can hide them as well as in places that will not expand. i.e. pregnancy, weight gain, loss
This leaves me slightly limited in my space, though I have tattoos covering my lower back - this area will expand, but hopefully not to the detriment of the tattoos. I have two tattoos between my shoulder blades and one on my ankle right below the malleolus, which I just call "that knobby bone on the inside of our ankle".
As for piercings...too much looks like too much. Unlike tattoos where many tattoos can come together to look really great. For instance, this guy, who apparently really loves him some Nintendo. Great color, good flow of characters. I would rate that pretty bad ass on my tattoo rating scale. The subject matter isn't for me, but the artist did a phenomenal job!
Piercings on the other hand...
CRAZY.
I myself have 10 piercings. This may sound kinky, but most of them are in expected areas. Two on each ear lobe. Two on my left ear cartilage. One belly button, one tongue. And one for each of the lovely lady lumps. I hope my Mother isn't reading this. :)
Back to the subject at hand though...I am at the later part of Generation X and with the last little bit of Gen X growing into their late 20's we are going to see an exponential increase in scaring from earlier piercings, particularly the eyebrow and lebret piercings (not labia as I initially typed...OMG.) I am really looking forward to seeing all those tramp stamps sag and the color fade in our tattoos. Though many will have regrets, most of us will be reminded of a great time in our lives. I know I will.
My motto has always been that I will never look any better than I do today. Nobody looks good with wrinkles...may as well put a splash of color in! (Hit me up in 20 years and I will be sure to put another pic up of what those back tattoos look like then! :)
