Hellloooo Savannah! (And you other people!)

I am sorry to say that this up and coming weekend will be the last weekend of adventure for a while. Our friend Larkin is going to be going in for some surgery which is going to put us out of the game for a while...but that is OK! When she is all healed we will have no choice but to have a WELCOME BACK - YOU ARE HEALED party! YAY! Any excuse to go out...we are SO there!
SO, this weekend.

We went on a Friday hoping that they would have musical chairs - stripper style again - I may have forgotten to mention this last weekend...but basically they have musical chairs and women from the audience get up on the stage, sit in the chairs and they are each assigned a stripper. Music plays, stripper finds their assigned lap, stripper sits, last one not sitting - OUT! OK, now that we have THAT out of the way, we went on Friday in hopes of stripper musical chairs...but they didn't have it! It is every OTHER weekend. Damn.

BUT, all was not lost!

We mosey into the joint about 10:30-11:00 or so and who awaits us at the top of the stairs...you guessed it! How nice of Miss T to meet us at the top of the stairs...and with such an enthusiastic hug!!! The most exciting thing about it was that I was already lit when I got there so I was able to get right down to business! Here is the run down of what we now know:
Boyfriend's Name: Bobby.

Been with Bobby for more than 4 1/2 years.

Has a 10 year old son (!!!): Kyle

Going to be spinning at a rave in Fort Lauderdale soon. (I WILL be attending, thank you)

Doesn't like Thai or Mexican food. (I tried to ask her out on a date...those are my two winning out-to-eat places...they didn't work)

When strippers, er, I mean entertainers are on their period they cut the string and shove it up there. (Yeah, bitches, I asked!!)

She had salmon for breakfast. (?)

Owns a home here in Savannah.

BUT, we had success in other area's as well:

Ali - one of Larkin's favorite dancers - came over and was talking to Larkin and it came out that we both worked for a law firm. Turns out her husband is in need of some representation and who better to represent him than my Joe? (Joe is the attorney I work for if you haven't caught onto that yet) So I did what is only right and good and got their phone numbers and other information. Joe said he would talk to him! The way I see it: Free admission to the strip club.

The rest of the night is a bit of a blur...

Catie did get up on stage and shake her money maker and get a good once, twice, thrice over by two of the girls there. The rest of the night was spent with each and every dancer in the place coming by and groping Miss Catie's twins. HILARIOUS!

I sure wish I could remember more!

I have exciting news! It is Krystal's birthday on Wednesday and we are going to be heading out to Club One on Friday followed by the strip club. I am pretty sure Miss Trinity is going to be taking someone I know up on stage and doing the traditional birthday whippings! More information to follow!

And You Thought I Was Making It Up...

You silly people thought I was making it up...you bunch of crazies!

Remember Trinity? You know, the lovely lil lass at our new favorite place to visit on the weekends? The one that takes all my damn money and I STILL fall for it everytime!

This is her.

Yes, I am serious. Really and truly. Can you understand why I keep going back and keep bringing people with me...and keep spending fucking money at some place to see the exact same body parts that I own and see every day?

I will be blogging about my weekend soon - which yes, includes a trip to see Miss T...

Oh My Dear People...

Do we know how to throw down...

It all started on Thursday, mind you. Krystal and I went to get a bite to eat - we were going to have a progressive dinner - you know, when you go one place, get an appetizer, go another and get the main meal...blah blah. Well, we got to the appetizer down at The Warehouse on River Street - some of you may know the place. We had the appetizer and then about 6 beers and four shots. That was all before 8:30. Please note I have to be at work at 9:00am.

We leave The Warehouse but not before making some friends. We met Dominique and Susan - Dominique is a man - there has been some confusion on this from some others. I also was dragged from the bar by a British guy and he made out with me while his friends took pictures. I got a rash of shit from Krystal on this - but I think we understand now that it was the accent. It draws you in and you can't deny it. I concurred with my office mate, Debbie, on this and she agrees. She knows alot of the those British men...I will leave it at that.

We then head to Savannah Smiles - a dueling piano bar. We had some more to drink there and eventually I made my way up to the guy playing the piano and sat down and played me a little ditty too. We played Heart and Soul. That is about as far as my musical genius goes. I have a picture of it...see. Well, I guess you can't really see that well, but if you look real hard you can see that I am at a piano. Really, I am.

We got home about 2:30 - Friday at work hurt, alot. BUT, I had to save up - we were heading out again...

Friday Night:

We called Roger E. Walker (cabbie) and told him to pick us up at 10:00. So before that time Krystal and I took Larkin and WallyPog to dinner at Bennigan's. Yummy food. We had date night since the ol tax returns came in. To finish date night we went back to Temptations. (Have you guys heard of this place? Have I mentioned it before?) Again, another night to file away into the memory bank. We get there, we set up, we observe. Lovely ladies, all of them, really.
Miss Trinity came over and spoke with us for a while - our conversation ranging from how the day has been to what we ate for breakfast. You know, just normal conversation. Found out she is a DJ too...isn't that neat, a woman of many talents. She spins my head, she makes records spin. I can see the relation. She is spinning at a rave on February 24 in Denver, Colorado - so Pen-Pal June, if you read this, you should go! It is going to be at a place called The PARC I think. Something like that.

So, at some point in the night Miss T was dancing and of course I pick my happy little butt up and go to see her at the stage...duh! Krystal follows close behind and Trinity says something to the effect that she is watching over me...I shake my head naw, it is nothing like that. Trinty expressed she was a little worried that Krystal would kick her ass...lick her ass, yes, but no, never kicking. I assured her it would be just fine and so Trinity said hi to Righty McBoob. Hello indeed girlfriend, hello indeed. Thank you ma'am I say, she says you are welcome. I give her my money, I go sit my drunk ass back down and revel in the moment. Ahhh.

We left the club after running out of beer. Our efforts to get Roger E. Walker to bring us some were fruitless. Damn Georgia for not selling beer all night long! Oh well, it was 4:00am. Probably should go home!

Saturday night:

I head my happy booty back to the Mactown to see some peeps of mine I haven't seen in a while. Me, Brian, Krysal, Christine and Justin went to see my high school friend Casey and her husband Billy at 550 Blues. Their band, Paris Luna, was playing a gig there. We were also joined by Heather whom we also used to go to school with. Casey's Sister Kristin was also there, good to see her again. And Krystal and I met Rachel and Charlie who are two pretty darn cool chicks. Rachel is sister in law to Casey. We drank and were quite merry. Seriously, go and check out all the new pics of the night. They show quite a progression and after viewing the amount of beer bottles on our table it quickly reminded me how I single handedly paid the rent for that place in one night. Geez I bought alot of alchohol!!

It was sooooo good to see some people we have some history with...it has been many years!

Sunday:

I just came back to Savannah! I am pooped out. BUT, it looks like we are going to be able to do it all over again - well, at least a repeat of Friday on this up and coming Friday...oh yeah!!!!

Party On Party People!!!

Boy, we know how to throw down and party on a weekend, don't we bitches?!?!

FRIDAY:

My most excellent friends from Macon (minus one…Christine couldn't make it on account that she is fixing her house up to sell…anyone need a great house in WR? Good price!! Motivated Seller!) Brian and Justin came in about 10:30 or so and met me, Krystal, Larkin, Paul and their friend Justin (whom I also work with) down at the Warehouse on River Street here in lovely Savannah. Fast forward (5-8 pitchers of beer, three shots and a Wet Willy's drink later) and we all go to The Billiard Club or something like that. We played pool, gave some lap dances and drank some more. We danced and sang. We did not puke though.

I took Brian to the ladies room – the guy's room had a line! Who has ever heard of that! We met a lovely friend in there that thought she was in the wrong bathroom! HA! That was funny! We closed down the place so we decided it was time to go (about 3:30am) so we start making the trek back to our cars. By this time we all decided we were way to drunk to drive so I just needed to get my purse and hail a cab. We walk and sing and talk and are generally merry until Justin (the one I work with, friend/cousin of Larkin and Paul) decides to have a little hay day of his own. Keep in mind I needed my purse from my car, so my friend Justin (not the one I work with) walks with me to get my purse. By the time we got back we were minus Justin (the one I DO work with) and there were lots of pretty lights taking him off into the night.

ME: Uh, what happened to Justin?

EVERYONE: DUDE, he just got arrested!

ME: WTF?

EVERYONE: He just got SLAMMED to the ground for telling a cop to go fuck himself. (or something to that effect)

ME: OH, that sucks.

General atmosphere ::crying, confusion, drunk people::

ME: OK, well the cab is here…load up!!

Justin (that I work with) got out of jail at some point in time Saturday afternoon with no recollection of the event, a scratch on his face and a broken rib.

AWESOME!

SATURDAY:

So, Saturday morning we all wake up about 12 or so and start the process of getting all the cars downtown back to their respective owners. After that is somewhat finished, me, Krystal, Brian, Justin, Larkin, Paul, Lexi and Chuck went to eat some breakfast. YUMMY! THEN, Krystal had to go to work so Me, Brian and Justin (friend, not the one I work with, because he is still in jail at this point) watch TV and rest up for the nights events. Oh, yes. You read right…we are going out again.

Now we have more visitors! Our friends from afar, L and J came to visit us!! Now we have more people! They arrive and we go and eat at Pearl's Saltwater Grill…YUMMY! We fill our belly's and proceed to buy some beer. We get three 30 pks. Yeah, 90 beers! We mean business! We decide it would be best to call a cab tonight after last nights events. So now we have: Me, (Krystal at work to be joining later along with Lexi and Chuck), Brian, Justin, Larkin, Paul, Cousin Catie, J and L.

We are heading out for the night – to where? Temptations!! If you haven't read my blog from a couple of weeks ago about that weekend…please proceed to do so.

Now that you are back with me – we all head out…cramped and sitting on top of each other and we make our way to the strip joint. This is Brian, J, L and Catie's first time. Oh and mine too cause I have never been…remember? (see previous blog) (hehe) So we pile out at the strip club like a clown car, get our beer and head inside.

You won't believe it! (especially since this being my first time and all **cough**) Trinity remembered me and Larkin – and our names!! ::ohhh shutter::: Came and gave us a hug and everything! Sweet gal that one. So we situate ourselves and burrow in for the night.

Lets see…there was a pregnant stripper, two goth strippers, a fat one, some pretty ones and an old one. Quite the variety there!

It was two for one in the VIP room…so Krystal and I explored that little option. Worth the money only ONCE. So if you have never been to the VIP room, do it one time, say you have been and then let it go!

I let Trinity know that we looked up strip club etiquette before we came. She thought that was pretty funny.

On a side note: I get really red in the face when I talk to her. I don't think it is the fact that she is naked, but the fact she is so stunningly beautiful and makes me really nervous! Me? Nervous? I KNOW! Thank goodness it is dark in there because I am the color of crimson.

There were two (unfortunate) men there that night. One was getting married and there for his bachelor party and the other was having his 18th birthday.

Trinity and two other entertainers (not strippers, mind you. Please see etiquette.) got up on stage and tied this poor boy to a chair, ripped his underwear off without taking off his pants (not sure how that one was done) and stood on him with their 6,000 inch heals just dancing away. Then one does a split and lands right on his lap. OUCH. THEN they tie him to the pole and take off his belt and each stripper smacks him three times. Three very HARD times. Especially Miss Trinity. That girl must have been a third basewoman…WOW. She straight up wore his ass OUT! Three times! I can't believe he could even stand! He had some MAJOR marks on his ass. That was entertainment right there.

Did I end up on stage? Of course! Just once though…couldn't help myself, I was summoned by her. You just can't help it! It is like a light for bugs. "No Louis, don't look at the light!" "I can't help it…::ZAP!!::" Yeah, just like that.

We left about 3 am or so and went outside and got the BEST hotdog EVER! Funny, hotdogs and strip club…hehe. OK.

We piled up and headed home!

SUNDAY:

We wake up at about 12 – tired as all get out, but we have to get the day rolling! Brian and Justin check out and come over to the house and we go downtown to eat - Me, Krystal, Brian, Justin, L and J. We go to a place called Moon River on Bay Street. They have beer there that is 8%!! So, we left and went back down to River Street and got some Wet Willy's drinks, went to the candy store, went back to Wet Willy's and then went home.

I took a mini nap at 6 or so and then we had to head out to a Superbowl Party!

I did NOT drink there. My liver and kidneys were screaming at me!! After that party I had to head up to Macon, got there about 12am, got up with Brian and Christine at about 7:45am, got some Starbucks (saw my girl Stephanie at Starbucks!) so we could all head out to do taxes. Got done with the tax guy about 11:30, ate some Cheddars and chilled till about 4:00 then we headed BACK to Savannah (a few dollars richer – thank you tax guy!!) and I went to sleep about 10:30.

Phew, what a time!

Exhausted!

I hope I didn't forget anything important!

PS. The chick that was prego - yeah, she had a glow stick in her booty hole. Or somewhere in that area...cause when she bent over it lit up a good two foot radius and could be seen from where we were sitting, which was from afar. I figured if she had kept that thing in her poo-nanny she wouldn't be in the predicament she is in now, being all pregnant and all...but you know, whatever. And then I was thinking, one good sneeze and that shit could put an eye out.