Is it really only Tuesday?

I feel like I have lived a whole week in a matter of days.

Let's talk about all that has happened in the past few days, shall we?

We will start with Krystal:

A few days ago: Jeep was hit by someone parked behind her…dented the bumper in pretty good. Didn't leave a note of course.

Yesterday: Figurines on the dashboard, koozie w/ pens and lighters in it - stolen. (the top was down)

A few days ago: She applied for a credit card, was denied because something was in negative standing on her credit report – pull report, some asshole had stolen her social security number back in 2005 and used it to get a home phone – which they never paid and ran up about $200 worth of phone bills. It was in collections. I called from the office (yay for working for an attorney!) and I THINK we have it taken care of. I went even further and was able to track down the person that was living at that address during that time…I believe we are going to be filing a police report very soon.

Yesterday: Cell phone: stolen at the park. I called her phone and the asshole actually answered…I told him that he needed to give me my phone back…he said it was his phone. I told him he was a low down mother fucker told him he needed to return the phone to the nearest restaurant because I was about to call and report it stolen and once that happened the phone would be useless since the serial number and such is attached to my name and only I can re-activate it. He refused. $350 phone – gone. Useless. Never can be activated again.


Me:

A few days ago: got two offers on the house. One looked good, the other was OK.

Yesterday: the good offer fell through, but the OK offer looks like a go except I have to bring $700 to closing. I actually have to PAY to sell my house. That is sucking more than you will ever know. BUT, at least it will be GONE! It has been on the market since November, 2006. It needs to pass a home inspection - which I never had done when I bought the house…I had the Daddy, come look at this house home inspection done, but that was all…I also have to fix a couple of things…also known as Daddy, can you fix these things for me?!?

This weekend: went to see my friend Brenda and her new baby boy, Alexander – got to the condo in Macon….broke down. Wouldn't crank for a while…finally it did…made it to Brenda's (left the car running) and made it down to my parent's house. Replaced the battery and drove back to Savannah.

On top of all of these things we have to continue to move some things from our previous rental house to the new one, rent is due, mortgage is due, and bills are due. I only make so much money and paying a mortgage AND rent isn't working for me.

But it is Tuesday…only Tuesday…and it IS gonna be a good day, DAMN IT!

AHHHHHGGGHHHHH!!!

Last night was a very long night. It started out at 9:30pm or so...Krystal and I had to go to Wal-Mart (a place of bliss) to get some stuff for the new abode...that took until about 12:00am - we covered every isle in the place. I think we are done shopping for the year...but I digress...
We go and visit Christine and Brian for a little bit and finally make it home about 1:30am. We unload all the crap and get it all put away and start settling in for the night.

***SCREAMS***

Krystal is in the bathroom and in there with her is Fred. That pictures does this spider no justice...I have to go find more. Like this. This and this. Yes, that last picture is proper in showing the ENORMOUS size of Fred...NOT COOL. Well, no, I think this is actual size if you are viewing it on at least a 17" monitor. And if you can't translate that...well, it is the size of my mutha fuckin HAND.

Fred was in the bathroom. Ohhh I found ONE MORE...aaahhhgggghhh!

OK, back to the story at hand. So I am tired and it is like 2:00am by this time and Krystal is screaming and I am screaming (and half naked) and I am running around the house trying to find something to trap this sucker in while Krystal holds it hostage in the bathroom with a broom pointed at it.

I forgot to mention what kind of spider Fred is...well, he is a Florida Wolf Spider. Yes, I know, we are not in Florida. I am assuming Fred was perhaps displaced when one of the hurricanes came through. Or maybe he walked, cause his damn legs are sure long enough to cover some ground. Or perhaps he jumped because he sure could jump! He was a quick little shit...moved faster than any spider I know...and I haven't seen spiders that jump like that. Cockroaches jump, yes, especially those big ones we have...but Fred, he was a long distance jumper... ::shiver::

ANYWAY, I find a syrofoam cooler and get it in the bathroom. We trap Fred in there by putting a towel under the door. Fred walks around the entire bathroom trying to escape the screams of two frightened half naked chicks. Finally I make the escape to the kitchen where I find some roach spray...in the middle of trying to keep an eye on Fred and read the label (so I could figure out if it will kill spiders...they really should write that in bigger letters on the can) I have a notion that perhaps we should take a picture...but then he started moving again.

(Side Note: Did you know that spiders cannot be killed by SOME poisons...like the kind that is sprayed by the Orkin man? This is because (per my last pest control dude) spiders are very nasty and do not clean themselves. Roaches and other insects are actually very clean and clean themselves often therefore when they walk through the poison, clean themselves, CROAK. - End Side Note)

It killed spiders. SO I sprayed Fred (after waiting for him to come back down from the ceiling - our ceilings are REALLY high) sprayed and sprayed and sprayed...I had a damn puddle of poison on the floor of the bathroom after I got done spraying. Not to mention on the wall and everywhere else Fred tried to escape to during my spraycapade.

I am not sure if he was drowning or if the poison was getting to him, but he started getting a little wobbly on his legs and finally gave in and crawled very slowly into the cooler. I screamed the entire time I was escorting him outside. He didn't want to let go of the cooler, so I left the entire thing outside. I believe Fred is dead.

This excitement ended at about 2:30am.

I woke up at 8:40am - work by 9:00am. TIRED.