Last night was a very long night. It started out at 9:30pm or so...Krystal and I had to go to Wal-Mart (a place of bliss) to get some stuff for the new abode...that took until about 12:00am - we covered every isle in the place. I think we are done shopping for the year...but I digress...
We go and visit Christine and Brian for a little bit and finally make it home about 1:30am. We unload all the crap and get it all put away and start settling in for the night.
***SCREAMS***
Krystal is in the bathroom and in there with her is Fred. That pictures does this spider no justice...I have to go find more. Like this. This and this. Yes, that last picture is proper in showing the ENORMOUS size of Fred...NOT COOL. Well, no, I think this is actual size if you are viewing it on at least a 17" monitor. And if you can't translate that...well, it is the size of my mutha fuckin HAND.
Fred was in the bathroom. Ohhh I found ONE MORE...aaahhhgggghhh!
OK, back to the story at hand. So I am tired and it is like 2:00am by this time and Krystal is screaming and I am screaming (and half naked) and I am running around the house trying to find something to trap this sucker in while Krystal holds it hostage in the bathroom with a broom pointed at it.
I forgot to mention what kind of spider Fred is...well, he is a Florida Wolf Spider. Yes, I know, we are not in Florida. I am assuming Fred was perhaps displaced when one of the hurricanes came through. Or maybe he walked, cause his damn legs are sure long enough to cover some ground. Or perhaps he jumped because he sure could jump! He was a quick little shit...moved faster than any spider I know...and I haven't seen spiders that jump like that. Cockroaches jump, yes, especially those big ones we have...but Fred, he was a long distance jumper... ::shiver::
ANYWAY, I find a syrofoam cooler and get it in the bathroom. We trap Fred in there by putting a towel under the door. Fred walks around the entire bathroom trying to escape the screams of two frightened half naked chicks. Finally I make the escape to the kitchen where I find some roach spray...in the middle of trying to keep an eye on Fred and read the label (so I could figure out if it will kill spiders...they really should write that in bigger letters on the can) I have a notion that perhaps we should take a picture...but then he started moving again.
(Side Note: Did you know that spiders cannot be killed by SOME poisons...like the kind that is sprayed by the Orkin man? This is because (per my last pest control dude) spiders are very nasty and do not clean themselves. Roaches and other insects are actually very clean and clean themselves often therefore when they walk through the poison, clean themselves, CROAK. - End Side Note)
It killed spiders. SO I sprayed Fred (after waiting for him to come back down from the ceiling - our ceilings are REALLY high) sprayed and sprayed and sprayed...I had a damn puddle of poison on the floor of the bathroom after I got done spraying. Not to mention on the wall and everywhere else Fred tried to escape to during my spraycapade.
I am not sure if he was drowning or if the poison was getting to him, but he started getting a little wobbly on his legs and finally gave in and crawled very slowly into the cooler. I screamed the entire time I was escorting him outside. He didn't want to let go of the cooler, so I left the entire thing outside. I believe Fred is dead.
This excitement ended at about 2:30am.
I woke up at 8:40am - work by 9:00am. TIRED.
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